Well here i am again at 4.30 in the morning and i can't sleep yet again!! My husband Darryl has terminal small cell cancer and, at the moment is going through a really good phase. Which, i would have thought, would set my mind at rest and enable me to sleep. But no, here i am again having had 2 hrs sleep tonight wide awake with mad thoughts running around my head!! This is driving me crazy and i just seem to be on auto pilot all the time. Darryl is 44 years old and we have been given a prognosis of a 2-3 year life span for him. I can't seem to let go of this thought, and maybe part of me can't sleep because of that, as i feel if i'm asleep i'm wasteing precious time!! Darryl is sound asleep and resting well, and if i stay upstairs next to him listening to his breathing, i keep thinking is this the last time i'll ever hear that and end up getting so uptight and worried that i find it better to just get up again. So i wander round the house do a few chores, have a hot caffiene free drink and will myself to sleep all to no avail i might add!! hahaha surely i'm not the only carer who never sleeps, or am i????? any comments gratefully recieved. Take care my friends and hope your all sleeping well. love and hugs mel xxx
We're ok, thanks, Caz is playing in 'Chicago' tonight and tomorrow, so at least she didn't have to get up early, thank goodness, and had breakfast in bed again, lol! spoilt rotten, our lass, but she does appreciate it when that happens......my choirs are both going ok, the Open University one has concerts 12th and 13th of this month, then the Halle one is July......I must just phone her Prof's secretary in the next day or so to nag!
Good for you both..you are such beautiful talented musicians and should both feel very proud of yourselves, like chickie Kate said a while back...voice of an angel (think you should change your user name :-) Lucky Caz getting breakfast in bed and I'm sure she does appreciate it and everything else (you're a star) I do the same with Michaela (every morning) I think a typical teen is starting to either enjoy it too much or is taking the michael lol!! What is the next stage for Caz now, seeing that you said about having to ring Prof sec and nag xxxx
Caz's next stage, well, we just hope she has more than one treatment left now, her Prof would like to try a Gemcitabine based chemo which he thinks could well get her into remission, but then he was talking about a donor bone marrow transplant, which as you know carries awful risks, so Caz isn't at all keen, which is why she wants to explore all options, even treatment overseas.....she has heard of other trials in various countries, and wants to discuss them too.
Dear moomy..Caz sounds so strong and determined, is her Prof who feels the Gemcitabine could put her in remission the one from UCH? how soon will you find out when and what next? sorry for the spanish inquisition babe lol!! xxxx ps..you're up late tonight :-)
Hi moomy, sorry to but in on your conversation but I wondered if Carol has had resistance from your g.p. or other health care practitioners when it comes to looking at other options even abroad. I ask this , because as you know I have been looking at other options for Jessica [mainstream and alternative] at home and abroad. Our G.P. suggested that it was futile[not her words] asking do we want to prolong the inevitable. She asked if it was worth both of us spending what time she[Jessica] has left , chasing something that may cause more problems and waste the precious time we have left. It put me in a quandry. Jessica up to her sleeping a lot wanted everything thrown at it. What do you think have you been warned off so to speak ? Anne xx
Hello, I was indeed up late, but went to bed shortly after my last post on here.....Teresa, no, Caz's Prof is at the Christie in Manchester, (but we have seen Prof Linch at UCH.)....and he approved of us asking to see the Prof in Cologne, in fact, he gave us the name!
And Anne, we felt that as Germany has a great record at present for treatment of Hodgkin's, it should be there that we try to see if we can find anything more for her, it will be a private consultation.....
Hi moomy...I managed it, so simple but took me a while lol!! how are you today? did you get the sunshine, we did but was too hot...typical moaner when its cold and rains and do the same when its sunny and hot, hope all ok? xxxx
Hi Dianne
How are you today hun, all these name changes becoming a bit of a mouthful, phaps Donna will see sense and change her name back as she deserving of it eh? hope you've had a good day xx
