Well here i am again at 4.30 in the morning and i can't sleep yet again!! My husband Darryl has terminal small cell cancer and, at the moment is going through a really good phase. Which, i would have thought, would set my mind at rest and enable me to sleep. But no, here i am again having had 2 hrs sleep tonight wide awake with mad thoughts running around my head!! This is driving me crazy and i just seem to be on auto pilot all the time. Darryl is 44 years old and we have been given a prognosis of a 2-3 year life span for him. I can't seem to let go of this thought, and maybe part of me can't sleep because of that, as i feel if i'm asleep i'm wasteing precious time!! Darryl is sound asleep and resting well, and if i stay upstairs next to him listening to his breathing, i keep thinking is this the last time i'll ever hear that and end up getting so uptight and worried that i find it better to just get up again. So i wander round the house do a few chores, have a hot caffiene free drink and will myself to sleep all to no avail i might add!! hahaha surely i'm not the only carer who never sleeps, or am i????? any comments gratefully recieved. Take care my friends and hope your all sleeping well. love and hugs mel xxx
hi both im not too bad thankyou iv been to walton today to see if they can do anything with my eye it was damaged after my brain anyrusum i havent seen that horrid so called friend and she hasnt phoned me im so glad xxxx
Glad, you not seen nasty friend,concentrate on those that care.Can they do anything to help with ur eye? Ive been doin some complementary therapy in a home for people with learning difficulties, gets my mind off my own "poo" xx
Paul, am havin a glass of vino ,as usuall...............xx
ye we glass or big glass ha ha am a lager man myself but it dosnt take much to get me pissed now days am a cheep round . did they give u any info shell are they able to help xxx
at the end of nxt month they are giving me botox if that doesnt work il be having an op how are you hun how is your dad i hope he is ok hun why do you think my friend was so nasty with me talking behind my back saying i always go on about my cancer i always thought i could with her but she has made ne so sad xxxx
shell dont no but some people are scared of even the word cancer they dont realise how it is or what its like to no you have it or how it affects you .they sometime can be so insensative .its a word that people fear even though they dont no much about it .I think for lots of people they just dont want to even hear about it my ex wife certainly didnt .she lost her dad to an accident at work .and never realy got over she was 14 .and I no along with other reasons she just could not face what can an might happen to me just look to freinds who no a little more about you for the support you need dont let it get you down you have enough to be getting on with xxx paul
Sometimes people just get jealous if they think someone gettin more attention than them, ask her if she,d like to swop places with you! no dont even waste your breath on her. Botox hey! the,ll turn you into a new woman!!!!!!!!!!!! we,ll b callin you Jordan. It worked on mums rfiend who,d had a stroke.Dad got a rfiend over tonight,also got this bloody cancer,but hopefully they can support each other!xx
Paul,its a wee glass,one at a time, makes the bottle last longer hehe xx
thankyou for that paul i dont think its cause she is sceared of it to me she has said some very crul things sod her anyway im going through a hard time but im so glad to come on this site and chat to all of you kind pepole how are you anyway xxx
yes what you said shezie is true im glad your dad has got a friend to chat to horrid illness i know my dad had cancer and i was in a state but he is ok now thank the lord im so thankfull to have a lovely friend like you xxxxx
