Well here i am again at 4.30 in the morning and i can't sleep yet again!! My husband Darryl has terminal small cell cancer and, at the moment is going through a really good phase. Which, i would have thought, would set my mind at rest and enable me to sleep. But no, here i am again having had 2 hrs sleep tonight wide awake with mad thoughts running around my head!! This is driving me crazy and i just seem to be on auto pilot all the time. Darryl is 44 years old and we have been given a prognosis of a 2-3 year life span for him. I can't seem to let go of this thought, and maybe part of me can't sleep because of that, as i feel if i'm asleep i'm wasteing precious time!! Darryl is sound asleep and resting well, and if i stay upstairs next to him listening to his breathing, i keep thinking is this the last time i'll ever hear that and end up getting so uptight and worried that i find it better to just get up again. So i wander round the house do a few chores, have a hot caffiene free drink and will myself to sleep all to no avail i might add!! hahaha surely i'm not the only carer who never sleeps, or am i????? any comments gratefully recieved. Take care my friends and hope your all sleeping well. love and hugs mel xxx
Sorry all my girls,and boy, are pets and not for the pot....................youll have to think of something else for your dinner.............sleep tight xx
Fran, although Christies is a big hospital, they are very friendly and the teams are very good....Caz had her radiotherapy there, and she now has all her appointments there too, since she sees one of the Professors there now. so, am sure you will be well looked after....love and hugs......
Hi. Whos about tonite? just had a friend round,gave her an aromatherapy massage, something wrong there ,shouldnt i b the one to get pampered? Lol.......................anyway now she gone home am all alone with those nasty little thoughts!!................xx
hi hun iv been terrible todaymy friend cane today and started shouting at me cause id gone to kfc with a old friend of mine and i had a nice change she spoke horrid to me saying that she is worse off than me cause she is homeless even though she lives in her daughters house she said i should go to the scrap yard takin the piss because iv had so much wrong with ne she has got loads of friends i had only her as a close one but now she has made me see that she is so selfish xxx
Me thinks you need to rethink who your friends are! did you have a nice time with the friend you went to KFC with? concentrate on those who really care about you,the others arent worth your time xx
yes i did it was nice to catch up but she hates my friend i went to kfc with she has shown her true self im trying to think of a way to stop seeing her she has been talking behind my back to my next door friend about me saying iv got cancer and she feels like slittin her wrist cause i talk to her about my cancer she knows what iv gone through xxxx
