Well here i am again at 4.30 in the morning and i can't sleep yet again!! My husband Darryl has terminal small cell cancer and, at the moment is going through a really good phase. Which, i would have thought, would set my mind at rest and enable me to sleep. But no, here i am again having had 2 hrs sleep tonight wide awake with mad thoughts running around my head!! This is driving me crazy and i just seem to be on auto pilot all the time. Darryl is 44 years old and we have been given a prognosis of a 2-3 year life span for him. I can't seem to let go of this thought, and maybe part of me can't sleep because of that, as i feel if i'm asleep i'm wasteing precious time!! Darryl is sound asleep and resting well, and if i stay upstairs next to him listening to his breathing, i keep thinking is this the last time i'll ever hear that and end up getting so uptight and worried that i find it better to just get up again. So i wander round the house do a few chores, have a hot caffiene free drink and will myself to sleep all to no avail i might add!! hahaha surely i'm not the only carer who never sleeps, or am i????? any comments gratefully recieved. Take care my friends and hope your all sleeping well. love and hugs mel xxx
Hey Karen I reckon you are the best mum, look how you are as a mate hey? Even to friends you aint met ?Those boys are soo lucky, you are gorgeous, loving and caring, good taste in music, footie team leaves a little to be desired, but we will forgive you ok? hold your head up high, you are fab and I am a huge huge fan xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
your wonderful, i think i have distanced myself from everybody, i have been told some counselling would be good but tried it about 6 months ago at the hospice and didnt feel comfortable with it so stopped going, the doc put me on anti depressants dont know if they help or not, just think i'm very messed up in the head lol never mind think it helps to be a bit nutty to get through this life eh???? thanks honey xxxx
your so sweet hunni, apart from the footy bit, talking of that didnt man u do well today???????? lol you have a lovely way with words too, i think your fab as well xxxxx
I know counselling isn't for everyone, and also maybe the time wasn't right for you at that time. But please don't give up on maybe having it in the future. Only you will know when you are ready sweet and we will support you as much as we can in the meantime
Sometimes it's easier talking to a computer than it is face to face to someone so if you feel more comfortable getting help from us then we promise to help and be there for you whenever you need us ok?
As Kate said you are a wonderful caring mum and also the compassion you feel for other people shines through!!
You're a true star a true friend and a true mother who does her best!! so all in all you're one of the best and trust me there isn't many of those about these days except all of us on here helping each other as best we can.
thank you once again my hunnis, i try to keep things to myself about how i feel as everyone has there troubles dont they? and you all on here certainly have enough to deal with in your own lives, me, my sister and brother are very close so we all talk all the time but obviously were all dealing with the same losses and dont want to hurt each other more than we are, if u know what i mean xxxxx
Hey Karen Mother Mels so right, you are a star babe and I reckon your folks are so proud, we have never met but we are so proud to know you, when i see your postings on here, i think ahhh henny chikky Karen has said words of comfort xxxxxxxxxxxx and then i read and think I am soo proud to know that lady xxxxxxxxx
oh kate, that was lovely, thanks so much hunni, mum and dad were always so proud of me, sis and bruv, i just hope they are now with how were trying to deal with there losses xx
My Dear Karen, Remember the saying a problem shared is a problem halved? well thats all i'm gonna say!
You must never trivialise what you are feeling or thinking as you have had your own share of pain and grief and you deserve some support as much as anyone else on here. Your problems are not small to us at all! you are a very important part of this team and we all pull together no matter what.
We haven't been through the grief that you have but we know we ourselves, will have to deal with it as you have. I only hope that i cope as well as you have when my wonderful Darryl has gone! I will certainly be looking to you for guidance then as i'm sure Kate will too, so even though you feel you don't help now which to me you do at least in the future you will understand what we are going through.
You are a lovely person and i'm proud to know you and share my life with you
Wel listen babe dont hold things in, its not good for you, Motherhen mellymoo mum has chemo no 3 on Tuesday and dont you just know Kates gonna be hysterical and spill her guts, ha ha seriously Mel and you too Karen love you to bits I wish I was strong and serene like you ladies but you know im gonna whine and whine haha
