Well here i am again at 4.30 in the morning and i can't sleep yet again!! My husband Darryl has terminal small cell cancer and, at the moment is going through a really good phase. Which, i would have thought, would set my mind at rest and enable me to sleep. But no, here i am again having had 2 hrs sleep tonight wide awake with mad thoughts running around my head!! This is driving me crazy and i just seem to be on auto pilot all the time. Darryl is 44 years old and we have been given a prognosis of a 2-3 year life span for him. I can't seem to let go of this thought, and maybe part of me can't sleep because of that, as i feel if i'm asleep i'm wasteing precious time!! Darryl is sound asleep and resting well, and if i stay upstairs next to him listening to his breathing, i keep thinking is this the last time i'll ever hear that and end up getting so uptight and worried that i find it better to just get up again. So i wander round the house do a few chores, have a hot caffiene free drink and will myself to sleep all to no avail i might add!! hahaha surely i'm not the only carer who never sleeps, or am i????? any comments gratefully recieved. Take care my friends and hope your all sleeping well. love and hugs mel xxx
Another little chick to have under my wing!! think i'm gonna have to get bigger wings soon lol
You are very welcome to my thread and hope you find us all friendly and welcoming, we have no arguments on this site just friendly genuine people!
I was going to read your profile before i replied to you but as it is such a book i will promise to read it later if thats ok with you?
It makes a change to have a man on this thread as we are all girlies so i'm sure you will be made most welcome and probably a bit spoilt!!! hahaha
Iv'e been given the name mother hen as i look after everyone on here and do my best to help whenever i can so please feel free to chat about anything good bad or indifferent.
We all do get a bit mad sometimes when everyone is feeling good so you will have to forgive us for that! haha
Anyway hope to hear from you again soon and a very warm welcome love and hugs mother hen mel xx
Don't be so hard on yourself you're a brill mum and i bet your boys think you are too!!
Maybe part of you doesn't feel that you want to get that close to them because you've been through the loss off your mum and dad and part of you subconsciencly thinks that if you get really close to them and something happens to you they will be more upset?
The mind is a funny thing and can do things to us that we don't even realise so please don't be so hard on yourself as i'm sure it's not your fault at all.
You enjoy your boys babe they will have to live without you one day same as my kids will but all we've got is now so please try to enjoy it with them, and don't blame yourself it's you mind thats doing this not you, and sadly we have no control over some things.
I think you're wonderfull anyway how you are love and hugs mother hen mel xxxx
the mind is a strange thing aint it mate, i am very close with my boys and always have been, but since losing mum and dad i have changed so much, which wouldnt please mum and dad at all, just cant seem to be bothered with things how i used to, anyway enough about me.
how are you feeling today? have the pains eased up?
stop trying to change the subject by asking about me!! i know all your tricks little lady! lol
I am here as are kate so if you wanna talk about how you feel you go ahead ok?
I can still understand that you have distanced yourself from your boys a bit since the death of your mum and dad so please don't think i don't care about you because i do very much and i'm always here to listen no matter what1
Hey Kate i think we scared mick away??????? Not sure why perhaps theres too many girlies on here! lol I do hope he comes back though as it would be nice to get to know him.
By the way i like rock but also like reggae too so can i join in with the singing? hahaha
