Well here i am again at 4.30 in the morning and i can't sleep yet again!! My husband Darryl has terminal small cell cancer and, at the moment is going through a really good phase. Which, i would have thought, would set my mind at rest and enable me to sleep. But no, here i am again having had 2 hrs sleep tonight wide awake with mad thoughts running around my head!! This is driving me crazy and i just seem to be on auto pilot all the time. Darryl is 44 years old and we have been given a prognosis of a 2-3 year life span for him. I can't seem to let go of this thought, and maybe part of me can't sleep because of that, as i feel if i'm asleep i'm wasteing precious time!! Darryl is sound asleep and resting well, and if i stay upstairs next to him listening to his breathing, i keep thinking is this the last time i'll ever hear that and end up getting so uptight and worried that i find it better to just get up again. So i wander round the house do a few chores, have a hot caffiene free drink and will myself to sleep all to no avail i might add!! hahaha surely i'm not the only carer who never sleeps, or am i????? any comments gratefully recieved. Take care my friends and hope your all sleeping well. love and hugs mel xxx
hey chickie karen Thanks sweet as always you know how to make me feel better! It is a very lonely journey i agree but being here does help quite alot as i know people know how i feel and it helps keep me saine! lol Well if you can call me saine i'm not sure bout that? Thanks for being my carer but no bed baths needed just bring the jacket with the long sleeves and i'll be fine! lol Kirsty just gave me a kinder hippo to eat wasn't that nice of her!! Yummy yummy they taste good! Love and hugs your MHM xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
hunni i loves ya but sane you????? no way, you cant be sane......lol, if you were you wouldnt need that truck load of white jackets would ya????.....lol were all loony chicks just like our loony mhm.....lol, wouldnt have you all any other way!!!
ooh kinder hippo................... is there a little one going spare chickie kirsty??????............lol
hey chickie karen Well i have always been the mad one but i don't need to tell you that do i? lol A kinder hippo on it's way for you now! I brought 2 boxes of them along with galaxy choccy, crisps bicckys, and loads of other really bad for you junk food today! But hey i needed cheering up and choccky has that good feeling chemical in it doesn't it? hahaha I'm gonna so regret this when i end up feeling sick! lol Love and hugs greedy MHM xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
you enjoy all that lovely choccy and crisps and everything else, but dont eat too much or you will be sick, so i think you should share it all with me...............lol greedy chickie karen....lol, i know its a chore but i will help you eat it.......
hope your feeling a bit better than you did earlier hun
hey chickie karen You can share with me and bubba kirsty although bubba kirsty said you gotta fight her for the choccky!!! lol She's being a greedy chickie me thinks! lol I could always get that lorry load of choccy back from the neighbours that they took off us before! Do you remember that? lol I do feel better babe thanks. It's good to talk eh? Or should that be type! lol Love and hugs your MHM and bubba chickie kirsty xxxxxxxxxxxx
ooh....that naughty bubba chickie kirsty........... mel put one of them straight jackets on bubba then we can eat all the choccy......good idea?.....lol then we can go round that miserable neighbour of yours and nick our choccy back eh?? that was a fun night werent it?..lol
have you tied bubba up yet?..lol xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
hey chickie karen Quick bubba chicken kirsty just escaped with our choccky!! lol I tried to catch her and tie her up but she was too quick and i was slow with eating all the junk food! hahaha That was a good night with the neighbours being on the rampage with our lorry of choccky!! The good old days eh? aaaaahhhhhhh! lol Bubba chicken kirsty said she's gonna lock herself in her room with our choccky. Think she needs a slap where's foggy when you need him eh? lol Love and hugs MHM xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
i will be round soon, climbing that drain pipe like spiderman.............lol, you get kirsty legs and i'll get the choccy.....lol and run .....lol that night with the neighbours was so funny, yep the good ole days eh??
if your feeling bit better babe, am gonna get to bed as got work early but only if your ok love n hugs xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
hey chickie karen I'm fine babe thank you so much for tonight it has made me feel loads better. You get to bed and no going to wrong houses tomorrow! lol If you do i wanna hear all about it! Kirsty has given me back me choccky so i will save you some ok? Knew she'd give in in the end she loves her mumma too much to be mean! creep creeep! lol Sleep well sweet and i will let you know how tomorrow goes Hope you have a easy day at work tom Peace out Love and big hugs from your biggest fan MHM xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx and little lovely kirsty! :) i feel sick from all that choccy! hehe!
glad your feeling bit better sweetie, glad kirsty gave the choc back...bet she was scared spiderman karen was gonna be round...........lol bless her!!
been lovely talking to ya tonight babe!!
i will be thinking about you tomorrow, please let me know how daz gets on wont you? or i will be worried. keeping everything crossed, and i will be stood right beside you both holding your hands
please try and sleep a little wont you? much love and hugs and to chickie bubba kirsty
love ya loads my mhm and kirsty night night, sleep tight luv chickie karen xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
