Well here i am again at 4.30 in the morning and i can't sleep yet again!! My husband Darryl has terminal small cell cancer and, at the moment is going through a really good phase. Which, i would have thought, would set my mind at rest and enable me to sleep. But no, here i am again having had 2 hrs sleep tonight wide awake with mad thoughts running around my head!! This is driving me crazy and i just seem to be on auto pilot all the time. Darryl is 44 years old and we have been given a prognosis of a 2-3 year life span for him. I can't seem to let go of this thought, and maybe part of me can't sleep because of that, as i feel if i'm asleep i'm wasteing precious time!! Darryl is sound asleep and resting well, and if i stay upstairs next to him listening to his breathing, i keep thinking is this the last time i'll ever hear that and end up getting so uptight and worried that i find it better to just get up again. So i wander round the house do a few chores, have a hot caffiene free drink and will myself to sleep all to no avail i might add!! hahaha surely i'm not the only carer who never sleeps, or am i????? any comments gratefully recieved. Take care my friends and hope your all sleeping well. love and hugs mel xxx
im going out tomorrow for dinner and going to see my grandad it will be nice to get out the house for a bit never go any were but no im going to try my best to do ask much as i can before i go for this op my husband had a tattoo done today heart with my name inside very nice thought im also worried about him he is still losing loads of weight that bad that his clothes are hanging on him rings i have bought him used to be tight now if he shakes his hand they fall off i look better than he does its prob all the stress the poor man has been under well i hope so anyway xxxx
thankyou mick yes like iv just said he is losing so much its scares me loads iv asked him to please go and see a dr but he just keeps saying no you come first but im going to go on at him to go its getting to much im putting the weight on he is losing it ya he has been very good brill is what he is how are you hun xxxx
Aww thats sweet,bless him,perhaps he should start visiting this site! i,m guessing he probably dont talk much about his worries,stress has a huge effect on the body,nice that you,re getting out tomorrow,get your glad rags on and have a lovely time xx
Hi Shell... keep that chin of your's up hun and hope all goes well on thurs/fri...with regards to your hubby can't you make him an appointment to see the dr but make out that it's for you? surely if you know that things are ok with him will help with your own worries and in the days, weeks to come you're going to need him to be strong for you and without you worrying about him....bossy head on there, sorry!! good luck hun xx
Hi Graeme, how you doing buddy and how did the footy bets go?? saw that Hull were winning and (for once) Luton won lol!! told you it'd be sod's law, though Man U were a bit of a let down, though Kate was pleased with the result :-) told her she'll have to watch and learn xx
hi yes iv just told my hubby he has to go and see his dr or il be giving them a ring i just cant belive the weight he has lost he can be very stubbon and wont go he had a tumour on his liver 8yrs ago said it was not cancer but he was to go back for more tests but he never did could stress cause you to lose that much weight im the one that should be losing it xxx
Shell like Tereasa said get your hubby down the Drs,tell him you need him to be well and strong for you,its a womans perogative to use a bit of emotional blackmail lol xx
Hi Tereasa , Hope you ok hun. been in my "Arty Farty!" shed again being all creative! keeps me outa trouble,got paint everywhere.somehow dipped my hair in it,iv,e got purple extentions in it anyway,(no not a purple rinse!) so i look like a rainbow now lol Wot you been up to? xx
Hi again Graeme,just p/m,d you ,glad you wide awake tonite lol xx
Hi Shezie...you still about or have you fallen over a bottle of red!! how was your day, did you sell any of you Fimo? have a pic to send you of a fox that's been in my garden all day sunning itself, I live by a main road so have no idea where it has come from, wasn't sure if there was something wrong with it to be sat there all day, only when I opened the patio door it scarpered off but then kept coming back...it's so cute, my mum wondered if it's had cubs in the garden?? xx
We posting at same time me thinks....so you been doing more Fimo's then and more hair colours by sounds of things lol!! how was your day at the farmhouse? xx
Graeme...you're more than welcome for the info (have had it stored in my mind for the past 18 months as to what things mean and stand for, anytime!!) well, some you win and some you lose lol, think our chickie kate in her element with today's result, though was a jammy result on an own goal lol but it's still early days and the rest of the season left...xx
