Well here i am again at 4.30 in the morning and i can't sleep yet again!! My husband Darryl has terminal small cell cancer and, at the moment is going through a really good phase. Which, i would have thought, would set my mind at rest and enable me to sleep. But no, here i am again having had 2 hrs sleep tonight wide awake with mad thoughts running around my head!! This is driving me crazy and i just seem to be on auto pilot all the time. Darryl is 44 years old and we have been given a prognosis of a 2-3 year life span for him. I can't seem to let go of this thought, and maybe part of me can't sleep because of that, as i feel if i'm asleep i'm wasteing precious time!! Darryl is sound asleep and resting well, and if i stay upstairs next to him listening to his breathing, i keep thinking is this the last time i'll ever hear that and end up getting so uptight and worried that i find it better to just get up again. So i wander round the house do a few chores, have a hot caffiene free drink and will myself to sleep all to no avail i might add!! hahaha surely i'm not the only carer who never sleeps, or am i????? any comments gratefully recieved. Take care my friends and hope your all sleeping well. love and hugs mel xxx
hi im not to bad thankyou for asking i had a bad day today worring about the op il be having next friday glad i can have the op just never thought it would be on my brain also these time limets they give you on your life find it hard to belive xxxxx
Didnt realize you had your op so soon,good they,re acting quickly,you,ll have to smuggle a lap top in hosp with you so you can still post! Like i said dont listen to time limits,nobody knows! Keep ya chin up xx
ya i will have to try an get a lap top in good thinking that will keep me sane in there im sure ya i seen the dr thursday and he told me that once he had looked at the scan he would let me know the next day if they could do the op i couldnt sleep that night dreading the phone call had the phone call by 9 next morning saying he could do it going in thursday and op friday what i didnt like before he had even looked at my scan he was telling me how long i had left 2mths without treatment 8mths with raidiotherapy 20myhs with op it was just like he was talking to someone else just couldnt take it in everyone is saying im in shock xxxx
