Well here i am again at 4.30 in the morning and i can't sleep yet again!! My husband Darryl has terminal small cell cancer and, at the moment is going through a really good phase. Which, i would have thought, would set my mind at rest and enable me to sleep. But no, here i am again having had 2 hrs sleep tonight wide awake with mad thoughts running around my head!! This is driving me crazy and i just seem to be on auto pilot all the time. Darryl is 44 years old and we have been given a prognosis of a 2-3 year life span for him. I can't seem to let go of this thought, and maybe part of me can't sleep because of that, as i feel if i'm asleep i'm wasteing precious time!! Darryl is sound asleep and resting well, and if i stay upstairs next to him listening to his breathing, i keep thinking is this the last time i'll ever hear that and end up getting so uptight and worried that i find it better to just get up again. So i wander round the house do a few chores, have a hot caffiene free drink and will myself to sleep all to no avail i might add!! hahaha surely i'm not the only carer who never sleeps, or am i????? any comments gratefully recieved. Take care my friends and hope your all sleeping well. love and hugs mel xxx
thankyou for wishing me good look i just cant cope at the moment my husband and dad are coming with me to walton i know this might sound stupid but im sure that taking a loads of tablets and going to sleep i wont have all this worry after having my bowel cancer i thought it wouldnt come back but it did it kidney had that removed then a brain anyrusum told i had unknown cancer now this they dont know if the can give me an op xxx
thankyou for wishing me good look i just cant cope at the moment my husband and dad are coming with me to walton i know this might sound stupid but im sure that taking a loads of tablets and going to sleep i wont have all this worry after having my bowel cancer i thought it wouldnt come back but it did it kidney had that removed then a brain anyrusum told i had unknown cancer now this they dont know if the can give me an op xxx
Taking tablets is an option, but you have come so far it would be a shame to take that option. I dont know but it must be so awful for you, you have your children, you must try and stay strong and hopeful for them.......easier said than done your probably saying. Try and get as much support as you can, i,m glad your dad and hubby are going with you. I wish i could take your worry away, i realy feel for you
I wish you all the best and lots of strength and hugs ..........xxxxxx
Please dont consider ending it, as someone who knows the devestation suicide has on a family ( my brother jumped in front of a train 11 years ago) its a terrible grief, you spend most of that time being angry at the person, dont put your hubby and kids thru that love
Try and stay strong for that family of yours, you all must be going thru hell, and your hubby and kids will cope better if they see you strong and positive
I wish I could take it away, good luck on Thursday, keep fighting, and keep talking to us on here
Hey Shell I agree with everything Ali has said, I remember mum being given the awful news we cried for days but then from somewhere she and I got the strength to face another battle, mum also considered harry karry, so glad she didnt cos she ended up lasting years and love she was a lot older than you,and we still had tonnes of hapiness
Walton are the experts on brain surgery, like alison said absorb the news then kick ass gal Much love, Kate xxxxx
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((BIG HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) from me to you. We're all here for you - fingers crossed for Thursday
Hi shell,sorry i dropped off last night, keep fighting hun, dont think of doing anything stupid,it leaves soo much devistation to your loved ones, and you still got life to live,and love to give. We,ll all b with you on Thurs,in mind if not in body xx
hi shell2 so sorry about your news hunni, i will be thinking about you tomorrow and keeping everything crossed for you babe wish there was something i could say to make things better for you
A Mexican Village A boat is docked in a peaceful,tiny Mexican village.An American tourist complimented the Mexican fisherman on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took him to catch them. "not very long" replied the fisherman "but then why didnt you stay out longer and catch more?" asked the American The Mexican explained that his small catch was sufficient to meet his needs and those of the family. The American asked,"but what do you do with the rest of your time?" !I sleep late,fish a little,play with my children,and take a siesta with my wife.In the evenings i go into the village to see my friends,have a few drinks,play the guitar and sing a few songs...............i have a full life" the fisherman replied. The American interupted,"i have an MBA from Harvard and i can help you" "you should start byfishing longer every day.You can then sell the extra fish you catch.With the extra revenue you can buy a bigger boat." "And after that?" asked the fisherman The MBA explained "with the extra money the larger boat will bring,yoou can buy a second one,and a third one and so on until you have an entire fleet of trawlers.Instead of selling your fish to a middle man,you can then negotiate directly with the proccessing plants and mayb even open up your own plant.You can then leave the little village and move toMexico City,Los Angeles or even New York City!from there you can direct your own huge enterprise" "How long would that take?"asked the fisherman "Fifteen,mayb twenty years"replied the American "And after that?" "Afterwards?"said theMBA"Well my friend,thats where it gets really interesting.When your business gets really big,you can start selling stocks and make millions!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" "Millions?really?and after that?" enquired the fisherman "After that you,ll b able to retire,live in a peaceful tiny village near the coast,sleep late,play with your children,catch a few fish,take a siesta with your wife and spend your evenings drinking and enjoying your friends"............................. ...................Hope all goes well tomorrow, i,m up the hospital with dad to see his consultant,and Shells got her hosp appointment,we,ll all b thinking of each other xx sheree
