Well here i am again at 4.30 in the morning and i can't sleep yet again!! My husband Darryl has terminal small cell cancer and, at the moment is going through a really good phase. Which, i would have thought, would set my mind at rest and enable me to sleep. But no, here i am again having had 2 hrs sleep tonight wide awake with mad thoughts running around my head!! This is driving me crazy and i just seem to be on auto pilot all the time. Darryl is 44 years old and we have been given a prognosis of a 2-3 year life span for him. I can't seem to let go of this thought, and maybe part of me can't sleep because of that, as i feel if i'm asleep i'm wasteing precious time!! Darryl is sound asleep and resting well, and if i stay upstairs next to him listening to his breathing, i keep thinking is this the last time i'll ever hear that and end up getting so uptight and worried that i find it better to just get up again. So i wander round the house do a few chores, have a hot caffiene free drink and will myself to sleep all to no avail i might add!! hahaha surely i'm not the only carer who never sleeps, or am i????? any comments gratefully recieved. Take care my friends and hope your all sleeping well. love and hugs mel xxx
youa re so right parents would go out and bring home the uniform and say your wearing that and we had no choice lol had to wear it no matter what my parents didnt realise i got changed at my friends houses before school and got back in to the other uniform before going home they never commented that uniform was never dirty i was a naughty teenager lol if chantel did that what would i say lol i always remember my nan saying to me you will know what you put us through when your a mother dont know what see iwas talking about i was much worst than chantel (well either that or she is alot clever than i was lol)now that you got the CSFBMM i wont confuse you with CTSSFBMM! glad the babies are well that has gone so quickly 5 months wow love and hugs MExxxxxx(short version)
Twin Sis MHM
giggling away to myself trying type full title and it keeps coming out wrong lol see mad laughing at a keyboard and screen i have stuck no changing cant unstick once stuck thats cheating lol buzzer sounds..............you now have a mad lickle chickie twin sis sue flat butty mophead madwoman njot worth a million pounds but will do her hardest to make you smile love and tight squeezes to you Chickie Sis Sue Flat Butty Mophead Madwomanxxxxx
Getting the digs in early eh? its only the start of the season so like chickie Kate said to me other day...watch this space he he!! We went to (can't believe I agreed to this) Arsenals 1st match last week c/o the teen cancer unit, there were 5 teens/a parent, exec box with lunch and drinks, was a great day and I did support the gunners (for Dad) was quite emotional for me and baby chick but was a great day out...I will say you had 'quite' a good win at the weekend!! I do try and help with her exercises but she's so frustrated that she can't do simple things like lift her toes off the floor so she rests her feet on her heels and like you say the side effects are awful (its really hit her this month) even with the sickness, all she has done is sleep and even her appetite has waned... I felt insensitive there being what you going through..sorry, now I know why else you call me MUS lol!! love and many hugs T xxxxxxx
this might sound so stupid but what can a pysciatric do to help me ya they listen been to see one before iv also been to see a psycologist i have ocd he wanted to help me but i stoped going because he wanted me to stop cleaning so much this might sound like a stupid daft thing to ask but are we allowed to see inside a morgue xxxxx
Twin sis MHM night night sleep tight thankyou for tonight hope we have m,ade you smile even just a little bit so much love given to you and Daz thinking of you speak soon take care
love and tight hugs Chickie Sis Sue Flat Butty Mophead Madwomanxxxxx
Dear Teresa Got it you dont have to write it down just go to the bit you want and click copy then go to where you want to put and paste yea im good im clever oh ok im a cheat but its easier than having to remember it lol
your end sounds like my house one arsenal supporter one man u and one liverpool ouch can you imagine when they are all playing i make sure im out or unplug the tv lol
love and hugs Chickie Sue Flat Butty Mophead Madwomanxxxxx
Hi Shezie Until late last year that's where my so called 'better' half of several years lived so we had a kind of long(ish) distance relationship, I loved it down there so different to where I am in Bedfordshire, had plans to sell up and move there once Michaela had started uni but before then hence things happened with dad so (although only a 2hr drive between us) I didn't want to be away from home and family xx
oh shell, if only we lived nearer, i do alot of work with ocd sufferers, many anorexics have that too.I can see where that doesnt help with what youre going through and your thoughts.Psychologists/psyciatrists can help, if you get the right one and you want help, to give up your obsessions is scarey,you need to tell them what you are willing to give up and work on, if you dont want to give up cleaning, and they want you to it aint gonna happen.As for visiting a morgue is this part of an obsession? i think it would be possible if it was going to help you.Did you have ocd before you became ill?xx
Dear Sue CSFBMM (no don't confuse me anymore for now by adding to it, was it CSFTTBMM?) anyway, you made me laugh about changing the school uniform...for me it was when it snowed!! my mum bought me a pair of welly boots (I was 14/15) no other kids wore em but I was made to and they were navy blue and like fishermen boots and I had really stick like legs, so when it had snowed one day left for school (protesting)in my wellies and got round the corner to change into my 'silly shoes for snow' before I crossed the road to meet my friend...all of a sudden heard a bellow from my bedroom window!! my Darling Dad watching me change out of my boots telling me to put them back on, I wouldn't mind but before then he would take the 'p' out of me in them (bless him) we still used to laugh at that till a year or so ago and he denied it then lol!!
Will have to try and post their pic (p/m) he is the spit of his sis but has def got my dad in him....love and hugs xxxxxxx
Hi teresa. Is this guy no longer your better half or do you still see him? Wots his name, though liklihood of me nowing him is slim. Do you still visit? could meet up xx
