Well here i am again at 4.30 in the morning and i can't sleep yet again!! My husband Darryl has terminal small cell cancer and, at the moment is going through a really good phase. Which, i would have thought, would set my mind at rest and enable me to sleep. But no, here i am again having had 2 hrs sleep tonight wide awake with mad thoughts running around my head!! This is driving me crazy and i just seem to be on auto pilot all the time. Darryl is 44 years old and we have been given a prognosis of a 2-3 year life span for him. I can't seem to let go of this thought, and maybe part of me can't sleep because of that, as i feel if i'm asleep i'm wasteing precious time!! Darryl is sound asleep and resting well, and if i stay upstairs next to him listening to his breathing, i keep thinking is this the last time i'll ever hear that and end up getting so uptight and worried that i find it better to just get up again. So i wander round the house do a few chores, have a hot caffiene free drink and will myself to sleep all to no avail i might add!! hahaha surely i'm not the only carer who never sleeps, or am i????? any comments gratefully recieved. Take care my friends and hope your all sleeping well. love and hugs mel xxx
hey my chickie helen mooms I can feel the lurve on here tonight so thanks for even more! You my little gold awarded chickie for sure! lol Love the speach by the way but could have benn longer! lol Love you my little gold awarded chickie love and hugs MHM xxxxxxxxxxx
hey my chickie helen mooms You are very welcome babe so no thanks required! You deserve the gold award so you wear it with pride too cos only special chickies get me awards don't give em out winny ninny! lol Winny ninny that makes me laugh!! lol Wonder where that saying came from? Love and hugs MHM xxxxxxxxx
hahahahaha, shouldn't that be willy nilly, lol, lol, lol!!!???!!! I'm so pleased to see you all joking again, though, MHM.....but I know it covers so much too, (do it meself so I recognise it) xxxxxxx
to you all i am going to love and leave you all stefan having a really hard time today he wont settle wondering around think i should sit down with him and we should just talk about things so good night for now not that i am going to sleep it could be along night thank you everyone for you love and support it means so much (((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))) hope you all get some rest and if you have any chip butties save some for me might well be back later lol love and HUgs chickie sue butty mophead madwoman xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx AKA SBMM xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
hey my chickie Sue butty mophead mad woman If you need me for anything just shout ok? Thinking of you and Stefen and hope you both have a better day tomorrow. I'm here if you need me love and hugs MHM xxxxxxxxxx
Hey chickie helen mooms actually you could be right!! lol trust me to get it wrong!! lol Mind comes from the woman who says ordamants instaed of ornaments!! lol And bluckcurrant instead of blackcurrant!! lol love and hugs MHM xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
hey my chickies Just had to share this with you all! Daz has just eaten beans on toast with cheese! Two slices of toast a whole can of beans with grated cheese on top! First thing he's eaten in a few weeks! Chemo man doing good eh? lol Think i will call him that now Chemo Man what do you think? lol I'm so happy i could cry! The wonders of chemo are amazing! Love and hugs happy MHM xxxxxxxxxxxxx
