Well here i am again at 4.30 in the morning and i can't sleep yet again!! My husband Darryl has terminal small cell cancer and, at the moment is going through a really good phase. Which, i would have thought, would set my mind at rest and enable me to sleep. But no, here i am again having had 2 hrs sleep tonight wide awake with mad thoughts running around my head!! This is driving me crazy and i just seem to be on auto pilot all the time. Darryl is 44 years old and we have been given a prognosis of a 2-3 year life span for him. I can't seem to let go of this thought, and maybe part of me can't sleep because of that, as i feel if i'm asleep i'm wasteing precious time!! Darryl is sound asleep and resting well, and if i stay upstairs next to him listening to his breathing, i keep thinking is this the last time i'll ever hear that and end up getting so uptight and worried that i find it better to just get up again. So i wander round the house do a few chores, have a hot caffiene free drink and will myself to sleep all to no avail i might add!! hahaha surely i'm not the only carer who never sleeps, or am i????? any comments gratefully recieved. Take care my friends and hope your all sleeping well. love and hugs mel xxx
hey my chickie helen Sorry bout the feathers i was gonna clean them up myself but had me lazy moo head on! hahaha I hope you are enjoying thr sunshine today and get to sit in the garden and relax for a while? iv'e sat in our garden today it was lovely and we're lucky as have sun in it ll day from sunrise to sunset so get a good tan! lol Hope you hubby and Caz are ok? Love and hugs MHM xxxxxxxxxx
hey chickie Shell How you doing today hun? Are you enjoying the sun? It's lovely here been sitting in the garden pur bliss! lol Love and hugs MHM xxxxxxxxx
Caz has just gone back home, taking a load of plants which I will plant out for her next weekend, as I will go up on the train.....All of us are ok, ta......how's Daz, and your teeth, hope they are all doing ok on those anti-bios?
hi MHM, am bit all over the place today hun, not sure if im coming or going, had a good cry earlier, but never felt any better lol. av got to sign off now as am getting moaned at but will b bak later. love and hugs to all shell xoxoxox
hey my chickie helen Glad you are having a nice day and enjoy planting the plants out. Daz is back to being tired again today and sleeping alot think it was too much maybe going to the coast last night but he wanted to go and i didn't want to dissapoint him! My teeth are a little better thank you still got quite a lot of pain and have infection in 3 teeth so no wonder it's been agony!! lol Got to go now as some of daz friends have just come round to see him if he can stay awake long enough that is! lol Off to make cuppas but hopefully catch up with you again later Love and hugs MHM xxxxxxxxxxx
MHM, I expect Daz is still suffering from post-radio tiredness, it takes quite a while, i gather.....bless him, hope he picks up....and just you get and nag for a dentist once you are getting to the end of your anti-bios, you will need to see one right then!!!!! Don't take no for an answer!
I went back to bed at 5.30am and managed to get some sleep.
I am ok. I am still in pain and taken some tablets to see if it helps otherwise I will probably end up in hospital again on morphine cos whatever drugs I am on is wrecking my stomach.
Didn't mean to worry you so much was feeling rather low but I am getting there now.
Hope you are all ok, kates feeling giddy happy and human for a change DBs best friend came round before ,shes still here now haveing a nap with Db on the bed She said she knew dad and I never get out so she was takeing over the careing of DB, today this evening, nows shes a bossy moo but oh so lovely, insisted we didnt drive, called Dad and I a cab, when it came ,we were sat in the back not knowing where to tell the driver to take us, honestly just like martians
Anyways to cut a long story short, I thought of well lets live it up, so Dad and I have been to the poshest swankiest place around here, we had a massive sunday lunch, so posh it had loads of courses, fish, sorbet etc, we drank fine wines and finished off with vintage brandies ha ha I "arrrsked" lol did they have a cigarrette machine, the waiter looked at me in absolute horror, no madam but I will bring you some" he only turned up with a massive silver server with lid with a packet of fags in ha ha
One thing about staying in 24/7 I aint spending any money so it was a fab blowout
Hows everyone doin, fran see you made contact, sorry I dont talk a lot of sense in the early hours, mind you dont talk much sense anyways ha ha glad to read you are feeling stronger today, your a tough chick and all feathered friends xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
