Well here i am again at 4.30 in the morning and i can't sleep yet again!! My husband Darryl has terminal small cell cancer and, at the moment is going through a really good phase. Which, i would have thought, would set my mind at rest and enable me to sleep. But no, here i am again having had 2 hrs sleep tonight wide awake with mad thoughts running around my head!! This is driving me crazy and i just seem to be on auto pilot all the time. Darryl is 44 years old and we have been given a prognosis of a 2-3 year life span for him. I can't seem to let go of this thought, and maybe part of me can't sleep because of that, as i feel if i'm asleep i'm wasteing precious time!! Darryl is sound asleep and resting well, and if i stay upstairs next to him listening to his breathing, i keep thinking is this the last time i'll ever hear that and end up getting so uptight and worried that i find it better to just get up again. So i wander round the house do a few chores, have a hot caffiene free drink and will myself to sleep all to no avail i might add!! hahaha surely i'm not the only carer who never sleeps, or am i????? any comments gratefully recieved. Take care my friends and hope your all sleeping well. love and hugs mel xxx
hey chickie Kate I can hear the birds singing here and it's daylight outside! Wow hasn't that gone quick! lol what you gonna be up today anything nice? Love and hugs MHM xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
hey chickie Lisa Get to bed you or you'll regret it later with a very energetic 3 year old to run after! lol Got my bossy head on now! lol I'm only jesting by the way so please don't take offence ok? love and hugs MHM xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
hey chickie lisa who knows maybe we are! lol You go sleep now but if you wanna stay you're more than welcome just don't want you all tired out later is all Will chat to you again and remember i'm here when you need me ok? Love you babes and still holding your hand Just call me the octapus! lol Much love and big hugs MHM xxxxxxxxxxxx
hey chickie fran are you still here sweet? I really want to help you babes please talk to me I'm here when you want me ok? Love and hugs MHM xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hey chickie Kate you kipping now? If you are i hope you sleep well and that you and our DB have a nice day today Much love and big hugs MHM xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
hey my chickie Kate I'm not gonna bother going to bed now but gonna stay logged on just in case fran comes back and needs me i feel i can't just leave her alone at the moment. I hope you get your comp sorted soon and that you and our lovely DB and your dad have anice day today and will catch up with you agai very soon babes Sweet dreams and take care Love and hugs your MHM xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
