Well here i am again at 4.30 in the morning and i can't sleep yet again!! My husband Darryl has terminal small cell cancer and, at the moment is going through a really good phase. Which, i would have thought, would set my mind at rest and enable me to sleep. But no, here i am again having had 2 hrs sleep tonight wide awake with mad thoughts running around my head!! This is driving me crazy and i just seem to be on auto pilot all the time. Darryl is 44 years old and we have been given a prognosis of a 2-3 year life span for him. I can't seem to let go of this thought, and maybe part of me can't sleep because of that, as i feel if i'm asleep i'm wasteing precious time!! Darryl is sound asleep and resting well, and if i stay upstairs next to him listening to his breathing, i keep thinking is this the last time i'll ever hear that and end up getting so uptight and worried that i find it better to just get up again. So i wander round the house do a few chores, have a hot caffiene free drink and will myself to sleep all to no avail i might add!! hahaha surely i'm not the only carer who never sleeps, or am i????? any comments gratefully recieved. Take care my friends and hope your all sleeping well. love and hugs mel xxx
hey chickie Kate Maybe's stop fiddling and go back to it when you feel more calm and not so stressed eh? Beavis and butthead said hi back to you and they still watching creepy stuff on tv but the'er not scared just keep giggling! lol Love and hugs MHM xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I don't know, I must be really stupid, I can't still seem to get the hang of the p/m thing, don't even know what it is reaaly. Anyway. Still here, still screaming and still awake. Not sure what's going on, thought everything was getting better, but seems it isn't! Ah well.
Would like to hear from someone who isn't totally totalled out!
hey chickie Debbie Don't worry about the p/m thing babe give it a rest for today and go back to it another time babes when you feel less stressed ok? Sometimes if we try to do things when we're not feeling our best it can just stress us out even more. I find by going away from it for a few hours then going back when you feel a little calmer it all falls into place then. You are new to all this so of course it is going to be confusing hun so don't worry about it ok. If you want to chat to me here you are more than welcome to babes. I know you feel really down at the moment but it will get better and you will get stronger too. I was a complete mess before i found this site in Feb this year and you will find many people here wjo are going through the same as you so can understand all your feelings and thoughts. I hope things get better for you soon but in the meantime i am here to help you Much love and big hugs MHM xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hey chickie Fran How you doing babe? You having trouble sleeping again? I'm here if you wanna talk so don't be shy babe! Love and hugs MHM xxxxxxxxxx
hellooooo... Hey i found it!..lol and i just wanted to say to Debbie.. not to worry about not getting the hang of it ... I new here too and i just posted an essay and its not even there!!.. took me ages to do ..I'm not the speediest typer in the world .. and its just vanished!!! bloody computer! Just wanted to introduce myself as Lisa whose Dad had lung cancer .. :(
hey chickie Fran i did reply to your post babe was waiting for you to reply so i'm very sorry you thought i had gone If you want to chat i'm still here but if you want to go to bed babe thats ok and i will chat to you another time. I hope you sleep well if you are going and that today is a good day for you Love and big hugs MHM xxxxxxxxxxx
