My amazing dad whom I am really close with (a proper daddy’s girl when I was younger) has been diagnosed with terminal cancer at the age of 78 with weeks to live. I am beyond devastated. I can’t even start to process how to deal with this or how to support my children who adore their grandad. I can’t eat, constantly feel sick with worry not to mention exhausted with travelling back and forward to their house each day. I don’t live close. How am I supposed to support my dad and my lovely mom who has dementia and can’t understand why dad is so ill when I can’t cope myself and how do I explain to mom that she will soon have to go in a home as dad is deteriorating quickly. Sorry for the rant, I just wish things would go back to normal and I could have my dad back.
Hi Dexty
Welcome to our community, I hope you find it both supportive and informative.
Sorry to hear about both your parents, I can certainly appreciate how difficult it can be especially with the travelling, at one point I had my mum in hospital in Cambridge, her only sister in hospital in Aylesbury and my wife in hospital in Oxford.
I sometimes wonder how helpful the "weeks to live" label is, I know sometimes even in the hospice the doctors can find it difficult to know how much time someone has.
Our son, who is 22 now has lived with his mum being ill since he was about 6. It has not always been easy but we were lucky to get good support from his schools as we made sure they were in the loop to help him with a consistent answer if he asked questions there. There is quite a good guide on here on Talking to children and teenagers
There is no need to appoligise on here, we all understand how hard it can all be. We even have a special group The Room to vent - remembering to slam the door on the way out!
<<hugs>>
Steve
