Hello,
im technically just the girlfriend but when the kids are over at our house i am generally with them more than their dad because of his work schedule. His 5 year old daughter was diagnosed with cancer about 2 years ago. She is close to beating it they believe so thankful for that!
We have had several issues between us about him and his baby mom how they do things and I’m truly wanting to understand is this how dynamic is between people who are separated and have a kid with cancer?
I will say he did cheat on me with their mom some time ago, it was only messages, nothing ever happened physically from what I can prove. He no longer is doing those things from what I truly do know and I trust that this is actually the truth now. However they tend to do join birthdays, he wants to be there for every first day of school morning at her house and drive with her to the school with the kids, those kinds of things. I suggested we do our own birthdays but he prefers to be there ON their ACTUAL birthday. And if it’s at her house she doesn’t want me there. He has also told me given that she cares for his daughter with cancer she has his utmost respect for that. And not that anyone can top that respect but basically in order for me to top that respect, even if I were his wife one day, he said something “bad enough” would have to happen in order for me to beat her. Essentially I believe he is saying that we would have to go through bad enough situation and I would have to prove myself to earn my respect from him that way.
I want to be of best support here, but I feel sad when he tells me things like this that even as his wife the mother of his children holds a higher place of respect in his heart than I would. I tried to ask if it was more of a different kind of respect, that I understand but he told me no he just respects her more.
please help! Any advice from parents in the exact situation whether biological or step. I just want to do that right thing and do right by all of us. Any advice would help! I want to do better!
