My mum was recently diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer which has spread and is currently getting sicker by the day. I have been in the hospital almost everyday but I'm exhausted and mentally struggling but then struck with guilt over leaving her when I need to.
Im finding it increasingly difficult to watch her deteriorate day in day out. She hasn't wanted to find out how long she has left and is currently on no treatment due to the fact she is so unwell with infections, blood clots and fluid in lungs and heart.
I feel anxious, scared, depressed, exhausted and feel sick everyday and I'm not sleeping but mum is going through more than myself so I feel selfish.
I don't know how to cope with it all.
Welcome to our community, I hope you find it both informative and supportive.
That feeling of being selfish is very common thogh in practice something many have lenrt in this situation is the importance or remembering to look after ourselves if we are to be any use to anyone.
It does sound like your mum has a lot of things going on, I can certainly recognize that from when my wife was in hospital and I first walked in to our local Maggies to get some support for me.
If you can find the time it may well be worth getting an appointment with your GP who I hope will be able to give you some more direct support. Not sleeping is something that can make us ill quite quckly.
I hope the hospital is able to sort out some of your mum's issues and then things might seem a bit easier.
Do post on here whenever as someone is always listening but remeber if you need that the helpline is open 8am to 8pm 7 days a week on 0808 808 0000 and they can be really helpful - I have certaintly cried at them in the past.
<<hugs>>
Steve
