Hello all.
I hope this doesn't seem like too trivial a thing to ask about when you are all going through so much..........
My Mum is currently having chemo and will be for the next few months. She lives quite a way off so when she has appointments and chemo I go and stay with her for a few days at a time. At the moment, for the few days before I go over, I steer clear of busy places as I don't want to risk catching something before I see her. She doesn't have many other people to support her so, even though I know if I can to steer clear of visiting if I am poorly, I want to avoid that if at all possible so that she's not left dealing with these huge life-events on her own.
I just wanted to get some guidance on a trip. It's basically 3 days in London a few of days before I visit Mum for chemo round 4.
I appreciate that it's a big unknown, but with it being so busy and with tubes and trains getting there and back, I feel like the likelihood of picking up some germs would be huge – and I would add it’s in the school holidays too so feels like an even bigger risk.
I would be due over at Mum's the day after I get back from London and so the danger for me feels like if I catch something and don't even know at that stage, I could go over and put her at risk.
My gut feeling is to cancel, the only reason I am looking for some guidance is because I feel like I am letting my best friend down (who the trip is booked with). She has been amazingly supportive and has put no pressure on me whatsoever, and her partner has said he will go in my place.
I suppose what I am looking for is some views on whether I am just over-reacting (or not, as I do strongly think these precautions are necessary) just so that I feel like I have some “evidence” for my concerns.
I know that my best-friend would say I’m barking mad needing to validate my concerns, but I’m afraid guilt trumps reason in my world .
I probably should add that I am late 40s and work full time, so it’s all pretty tiring (obviously not as much as it is for Mum!) and so getting back after 3 days away probably wouldn’t leave me fresh-faced and perky for the next round anyway!
Again so sorry as I realise in the grand scheme of things, there are far bigger and more important things to worry about, I suppose I just feel like I am letting people down a lot and just wanted to get it off my chest really.
Thank you
Hi Rach_Tresor
I understand your concerns and feelings, obviously the decision has to be yours, I personally went through Chemo in Lockdown so my main exposure to germs was whilst visiting daily for my Radiotherapy treatment, all were wearing masks but the more obvious place to collect unwanted germs is hands
Does your Mother wear a mask when she visits for treatment or goes out with one ?
Have you discussed it with your Mother, she may not be concerned with it, yes there is a risk of reduced resistance to germs whilst undergoing Chemo, but the advice I was given that you don’t stop normal life as much as you can as that can be a more serious matter for recovery
I hope you get through Okay and that your Mother has good results,
Take care
Tony
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Hi Tony
Thanks for your reply, very much appreciated, and I hope you have had positive results from your treatment.
Mum doesn't wear a mask, but is only really going out for treatment and occassionally to the shops during quiet times.
I suppose my main concern is that it's London, packed Tube trains and during the height of tourist season - not to mention that fact that I always seem to pick up anything going round.
I agree that Mum should try and have some normality but I get to have something of a life when I am back home, so I don't mind giving up this trip to be safe - the risk feels so much greater than her brief local trips out.
She told me to go, but that's just something any Mum would say I think, she just worries that she is being a burden, but I worry that I could be the cause of more problems if I take any risks.
You're right of course, only I can decide really. And I do appreciate your take on this, having been in that vulnerable position during treatment. Very much appreciated.
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