Struggling to cope with my best friends deterioration from brain cancer

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Hi,

I don't know how to start this so ill just go straight in.

My best friend was diagnosed with a large brain tumor a few years ago. Low grade at first but then it changed, she has a grade 3 glioma. She went through de-bulking surgery, radiotherapy and chemo a few years ago. Things were stable until around 6 months ago when her routine MRI showed two new tumors. She began chemo again but this was stopped a few weeks ago, it wasn't working.

Her decline has been rapid, her speech is getting worse by the day and her motor skills are declining. The pain of watching her deteriorate is unbearable. Four weeks ago she  could talk and do everything normally. 

I think I had convinced myself this wasn't going to happen and now it's happening too fast to cope. This wasn't the way it was supposed to be, we've been through so many milestones and have so many memories, but there are so many more things we were supposed to go through together. I am angry and numb and don't know how to process this anymore.