Hi, feel a bit silly reaching out to strangers about this but I'm just wondering if anyone has any advice/similar experiences maybe? I am one of 3 siblings (same mum different dad's)
Less than 2 years ago my dad passed away with bile duct cancer very suddenly and in a bad way- we hadn't had much of a relationship anyway as he wasn't in my life while I was growing up etc and I really struggled after his passing with not being able to say goodbye properly etc.
Fast forward to the beginning of this year & my mum has been diagnosed with neuroendocrine tumours out of the blue too. Zero symptoms. My siblings and I have had a huge falling out previous to her diagnosis to make things even worse. I am the only one of us who doesn't drive & because of that she hasn't wanted me to go with her to any appointments etc preferring the lift there which is understandable.
Today she has had a partial bowel resection & since I am not the oldest sibling and therefore not her next of kin I was obviously not the one the hospital called when she went up to recovery afterwards. I'm feeling all kinds of hurt and anger right now because neither of my siblings reached out to even let me know that she was still alive even. Am I being unreasonable here? I know there are tensions but surely that's just human decency? I did find out she has "gone up to recovery" by calling the hospital myself but that was after a full day of worry and trying to hide it from my children as she doesn't want them to know.
I don't even really know what to say or do or feel it's all a whole lot right now. Just feeling like the world's worst person once again, my mum was convinced she wouldn't survive the surgery & it just feels like she really didn't want me around, I have of course respected her wishes every step of the way, just at a total loss of what on earth to do now
