cancer shock

Oh Sarah ,

so sorry to hear what your both going though , but I’m sure he appreciates all you do for him .

asyou say one day at a time

thinking of you 

Gill R

thank you 

its been hard and we are now waiting for the palliative care team to contact us ...we have an appointment at the wellness centre ( i think its called that ) at our local hospice to talk about counselling and other stuff ...not sure what they are going to say to us or whats on the table ...we are waiting for the community nurse to call us and schedule an at home appointment so medication previously prescribed by the hospital can be transferred to our gp for adding to his repeat prescription and to see if we can get his ensure drinks on prescription as we cant buy them at any pharmacy without a prescription ..can buy some at our local sainsburys when they have them ...

we are both numb about this at the moment and trying to get into some kind of routine that revolves round my husbands needs is very trying at the moment ..we are trying to go day by day and thats all that matters ..he knows hes dying and worries about me coping when it happens ,,,i worry about him and at the same time dealing with a headcold ..i really really hate november at the moment lol ...

but saying that ,,it could have happened at any time of the year ..we knew that he was on limited time ...he still gets ratty over small things that wouldnt normally bother him but now i know its the result of the cancer and he cant control that so we just muddle along day by day ...i cherish the days now ,,hes still here and thats what matters to me more than anything ...life is hard but liveable now ....

take care 

sarah x

Hi greyhoundsrule,

so sorry to hear your news so sad , but I’m sure you’ll soon get into a routine and take advantage of the good days .

ive just started going to a wellness class addached to my local hospice , they are lovely people as you can imagine, IVE filled in a form about how Im feeling today and the lovely lady is putting people in touch with me to see how they can help me , IVE come away feeling Im back in control, and get some answers in order to make a decision.

Sending love and thoughts to you both,

Gill  x

hi briars 

its 3,30 am and im full of a terry cold as my daughter used to call it lol 

havent slept yet and sat here drinking tea like its going out of fashion ! 

had a talk with my husband and we both agree that whatever time is left to us wont be wasted on things we dont want or dont like .....

at the moment im not keen on being around people and neither is he so everything is normal ....

i was thinking about what cancer takes from people ....its not just the eating away at the body its the mental toll and the sense of losing control and having to rely on outsiders if that makes sense ...my husband is pretty stubborn and can be quite rude to me and others and i think that cancer has taken away his sense of worth and left him a shell of who he used to be ...at this time he is letting go of things that he really loved to do outside of family and leisure stuff we loved ..

i understand why hes doing it but it still hurts to see him getting frailer and letting go slowly ...

hes still the man i married and i love him to bits and always will so its the   letting go bit thats hurting me and him but we cant change it so we go on as much as we can 

routine is good so far and we are sticking to it as much as possible ....

i sometimes feel selfish for feeling lost because im not the one with cancer 

combined with this awful cold im very tearful at the moment and hes worrying about me ..which i didnt want but guess thats part of the whole issue ....

feeling very philosophical about it all but still grieving if that makes sense to anyone 

we are putting our affairs in order and that makes it hard to deal with 

but whatever happens we both love each other and that will never change 

take care

sarah x

Morning Sarah ,

so sorry to hear your news , get all the help you can to keep yourself strong and do keep in touch I’ll be thinking of you both

Hi Sarah,

I don’t really have anything to add to what you and others have said. It’s all amazing. 
But I just wanted to send you a hug!! 
Lallylou