its been a roller coaster so far ...finally saw the oncologist yesterday who said that there was nothing to be done for my husband ..hes had 3 types of treatment which havent worked and the cancer has got worse ...defineately is lung cancer which had spread to his lymph nodes and he has a tumour in his chest which has grown in the last 3 months ..
its seems like we have been stuck in a cycle of nothing ..if that makes sense .....we thought we were speaking to the palliative team when in fact we had to wait for the oncologist to make the decision ...im not complaining about his treatment but sometimes paperwork and decision making can be so frustrating for everyone ....
i know the cancer team have done their best for my husband and i will always be grateful for the care he received from them ..
we knew he wouldnt live forever and we are so thankful for the time we have now although its borrowed time which is slowly running out ...
its devastating but we have to live with it as it is ....we now have clarity in regards to the cancer and what will happen next ..
we are now going to take each day as it comes ..every day is a bonus and we are hopeful that my husband will be here a bit longer than we thought ..
the hardest thing for me has been the feeling that hes dying slowly and i cant do anything to change that ...i know its not the life we wanted for our later years but it is what it is and at least we know now what is likely to happen in the future ......hes decided that he wants to stay at home with me for as long as possible and i agree ...the oncologist said that the palliative care team will liaise with our gp practise about medications that were previously prescribed through the cancer unit ..my husband just laughed and said good luck with that as our gps have not been very helpful so far ...now we wait to hear from the palliative care team or the community care team and then we go from there.....
been trying to get my husbands appetite back as much as i can because hes so frail now ....protein drinks ..meal replacement drinks and i try and cook a dinner everyday that i run through the blender so he can eat a normal meal .....all the treatments hes had have wrecked his appetite and its difficult to find him something he can eat without being sick ....but now hes trying to eat and thats something ..he has pills for the sickness and nausea so it has helped him eat a bit more ..
i have a cupboard full of complan...soups ...fridge full of protein drinks and whatever else he fancies eating ....
but thats what you do for someone you love ...
take care
sarah x
