cancer shock

Hi Sarah,

Thanks for the update, hope the scan goes well tomorrow.

Fingers crossed for Christmas.

<<hugs>>

Steve

thank you 

he had his scan yesterday and now we wait until next week to see the oncologist about the results ..

he is restarting his chemo tablets today and hes dreading the side effects and worrying that they will stop the chemo ....although it might be that they might just reduce the dose .we just dont know until we see the oncologist next week 

its going to be a tough weekend for him and me ..so im ordering online for whatever we need ..i hate online shopping at the best of times as i like to see and feel whatever im buying instead of letting others choose ..its possible im just old and cranky or lost my mojo ! lol 

take care 

sarah x

Hi Sarah,

Your comments really strike a chord with me as my husband’s incurable prostate cancer has now become resistant to treatment and is continuing to spread, although they’re still trying with chemo and probably RT afterwards as a last ditch attempt, to give him longer.  He tolerated the last lot of chemo fairly well but apparently the next one will be stronger.  

I too feel helpless that, despite all the kindness and concern of friends and relatives, it comes down to the fact that nothing more can be done to put off the inevitable.  We’re trying  to be philosophical and make the most of every day but it feels like a dark cloud is constantly overhead these days and I wake up with a feeling of dread wondering how long he’s got left.  I’ve noticed he wants to cuddle more these days although he doesn’t say much about the situation.  

I don’t think he is quite as far along that awful path as your husband as he feels well at present and not tired although starting to lose weight.  He copes by immersing himself in his voluntary work while he still can and I do mindfulness meditation which helps.  We’ve also booked what is possibly the last holiday we’ll have.

I hope the scan results bring more hopeful news for you both.

BTW, we’re 76 and hate online shopping too; would much rather see what we’re actually buying than just a photo!

Hazel

hi 

its been difficult ...ive since discovered that he isnt actually having a standard chemo drug ,,hes having targeted therapy which is not chemo but something similar ...its designed to hold back the cancer he already has as its targeted at the genetic mutation in his cancer ....ive done a lot of research on this and although its not a cure ,,its designed to hold back the cancer as long as it can ..

doesnt take away from the fact that he is slowly dying but im hoping the scan results will show its making some difference ....

we are seeing the oncologist on friday and hopefully will find out if the drug is working on his cancer and at least stopping it from getting worse ,,,.

the side effects are playing havoc with him and its affecting his mental health as well now ...think hes having what is called cancer rage and thats totally understandable .just makes him a living minefield at the moment lol 

as its just mainly him and me with help from my kids as well it does feel kind of lonely and ive spent a fair bit of time crying on my own ...more out of frustration and helplessness than anything ..but ill cope ..

think im going to start painting as a way of expressing how i feel ...even if the paintings arent gallery worthy it will help me to express how i feel at the moment 

i hope you and your husband find some peace with whatever life throws at you 

it is lonely for both cancer sufferers and the people who care as most of the effort is centred around helping the patient and thats how it should be really 

take care 

sarah x

Hi Sarah, 

I hope, after all the awful side effects your husband is experiencing, that the drug is helping to control the cancer and give him more time.  Mine was tested for the gene mutation but was negative so it’s just down to more chemotherapy and some RT, again to slow the cancer down for as long as possible.  How long that will be is impossible to know. 

My husband hasn’t expressed any rage yet, I think he’s become resigned to it being incurable all the while he hasn’t really experienced any pain – apart from the chemo side effects.  I’m not looking forward to when he does as he has a low pain threshold.  His main complaint is his slight breathlessness from having had an upper lung lobectomy two years ago.  He was pronounced cancer free by the lung clinic so it’s frustrating that he also has prostate cancer, which can’t be cured. 

Yes, you need some kind of therapy as a kind of outlet for the emotions.  I was thinking of taking up music again although I haven’t played for some time and am not very good at it. 

We haven’t any children and although our friends have offered assistance and lifts when required, we don’t like bothering them that much and use taxis if necessary. 

Best wishes and fingers crossed for your appointment tomorrow. 

Hazel