I last saw my grandad at a family Xmas, 2 months after he walked me down the isle before he abruptly shut me and my mum out, for a while we tried to get in contact, going to his place, he just would not see us. It’s not the first time he has done this, leaving the family for a decade before coming back into our lives for 4 years. my heart broke, he was my idol and having not had a dad growing up he was my male inspiration. I always text him telling him I loved him even though I got no response. Then today out the blue my mum rings.. he’s text her and has terminal cancer and has done for some time.. he pushed us out to protect u. I feel sad that he chose to go through this alone when we could have been there, I’m angry that he broke mine and my mums heart making us feel we had done something wrong, I’m devastated to have lost on possible time and memories we could have made, I keep crying then feeling angry. I don’t know what to do with myself. He’s agreed to let us go and see him but my mind is spinning. I don’t know how to process all of this.
Hi Aura307238
Welcome to our community, I hope you find it both informative and supportive
That all does sound really difficult, I have seen people who have pushed loved ones away when they got a cancer diagnosis as they did not want to bring them down but it does come down hard even so.
I find looking at your feelings when someone has cancer quite helpful as being able to recognize these emotions and accept them as normal helps me feel less overwhelmed.
If it helps you are welcome to ring the helpline or if you would like some face-to-face support you might like to look at our in your area tool to find support groups near you.
Although my dad did not have cancer he was one for not telling anyone how ill he was, that was really difficult too.
<<hugs>>
Steve
