Feeling lost and confused

LauraHC 1 month ago

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I was in a relationship with a lovely man for almost 2 years. He got a cancer diagnosis and had surgeries etc. I was there throughout. Before he started further precautionary treatment, he ended the relationship, saying we wanted different things. We have stayed friends, as we both want to still be in each others lives. I have been visiting him in hospital almost daily recently, as he gets over the after effects of radiotherapy and chemotherapy.

My confusion is with this - I still love him so much. And I want to tell him and I want us to try again with our relationship. But I feel like it’s going to be too much for him to contend with, as he is currently stuck in hospital. And probably will be for at least another week.

So do I share my feelings with him? Or do I just say nothing and continue to support him as a friend?

Miranda t 1 month ago

Hi LauraHC, it’s lovely that you are able to be such a close friend and give him so much support. In your position, I would save any deep conversation for when he’s out of hospital and has had some time to adjust to being back at home. You can still tell him that you care a lot about him, etc. although it’s possible that he knows this by your actions! Just my opinion, but sometimes you have to follow your heart….

LauraHC 1 month ago in reply to Miranda t

Sorry, I’ve only just seen your response.

Thank you for your reply. I agree and have said the same to a friend, that I don’t think it’s fair to have that discussion with him while he is stuck in the hospital. He has enough to contend with and get his head around.

He has been very appreciative of me going up and running some errands for him and keeping him company etc. I have said here and there about how important he is to me and how much I care about him. But not any more than that, even though I do want to. But I don’t think that’s fair to him right now.

There is talk of him maybe coming out on Friday of this week, so here’s hoping he will be. And then will just have to bide my time and wait until he is ready to have that conversation.

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