Forgive me if I ramble, we only got my Mum’s prognosis yesterday so very raw.
My Mum is 88 I’m 61, incredibly lucky to still have both my parents at my age.
My Mum started losing weight around 18 months ago, I nagged and nagged her to go to the doctor, eventually in February she went. Lots of tests and scans later she was diagnosed with bowel cancer around 6 weeks ago. Then followed more scans to see if it had spread, yesterday she was told it had spread to her lungs and it’s incurable and given months.
My parents are very old school and wouldn’t let me go to appointments with them, I have been given updates after appointments over the phone, including yesterday. Whilst I completely respect their decision to do this I’m finding it very hard. I want to be the best possible support to my Mum and my Dad and will do absolutely anything to help, I feel we should be dealing with this together. Then when I say that I feel completely selfish as I must respect their wishes.
I have 3 grown children (all married with their own children) and we’re all completely devastated. Since the diagnosis 6 weeks ago my Mum has refused to see my children, they are struggling with that so much.
I've spent the whole night sitting in my garden, wondering ridiculous things like what will my Dad eat when he’s on his own!
My Mum’s symptoms at the moment are weight loss and tiredness, no pain, I can’t understand how it can only be months?
I really want to help make her last months as good as they possibly can be and hope my parents will accept help from me and my children but won’t force this if it makes my Mum uncomfortable.
I’m guessing this jumble of thoughts is normal? Any ideas of how to get them to take help greatly appreciated and how I can be the best possible support to my parents too.
Thank you, just writing this down has helped a little sorry it’s a long read.
