Okay, I don’t really know where to start but I suppose I’ll give some context and then dive in..
I have been with my partner for 5 years now, since early 2020. Before we were together his mum was diagnosed and subsequently in remission from breast cancer. During Covid she shielded due to weakened immune system, which put a strain on our new relationship as he still lives at home and therefore we didn’t see each other for quite a few months. Covid-19 has had a big impact on his anxiety around illness and his mum getting ill since.
Fast forward to July 2022 and his mum was sadly diagnosed with secondary cancer in the form of a brain tumour. The tumour is on her cerebellum and is inoperable. They have been treating it with radiotherapy, cyber knife & chemo. All of which seemed to be working well until the last 6 months. Her balance has worsened and she has become pretty immobile, using a wheelchair day to day and needing support to use the bathroom.
My boyfriend and his family don’t seem to talk much about what is going on and it’s like the big elephant in the room that no one wants to address. However, it is clearly affecting them all and I don’t know how I can support if they’re not willing to talk about it. From my understanding, she isn’t going to get better, and from my personal views and upbringing I feel the best thing to do is face it head on, speak about it, despite how uncomfortable it is and move on to live a happier, more fulfilling next few days, weeks, months, years.
I am really struggling on how to voice all this without sounding condescending, insensitive or like I know more about what’s going on but I just want my boyfriend, his family & me to enjoy this next chapter. Or should I just accept that this is not how they process as a family and keep my mouth shut?
Any suggestions or signposting to support is welcomed.
