For context - My Dad (80yrs old) has kidney cancer and has had a cancerous tumour removed from his bladder. He is awaiting surgery to remove the tumour on his kidney and to start chemotherapy injections.
My Dad is based down in the south-west of England where he lives with his wife - my step-mum. My sister and one of my brother's are also down there. I'm in Scotland, and my other brothers are out of the country.
We have a group chat to stay informed but I've just found out that my step-mum is getting annoyed about us sending messages wishing him well for his appointments and asking how he is, and that she feels there's no need. She has been phoning her friends complaining about us asking after him.
It's just really hard to explain that we are just showing concern for our Dad and offering support in the only way we can when we are far away. I have two trips planned to see him and support him whilst he undergoes treatment, but now I'm worried my step mum will make things difficult or not understand my need to be there for my Dad. I truly don't think she fully understands how serious this is.
Anyone else had to navigate challenging family members or any advice on how to delicately try to explain the seriousness of the situation gratefully welcomed. Either way I'm thankful to be able to share here. I just want to be there for my Dad in any way I can.
Hi Mike,
Hard to know if it might be the case here but I have seen before where the people at the centre of things are really quite worn down by all the appointments, treatments, etc that the pressure of trying to keep all the friends and family informed can feel like total overload. Sometimes then it can help it someone steps forward to keep everyone informed.
I know when our son needed an operation my wife was quite glad that her brother turned up as he was able to update the rest of her family because by the time she got home she felt totally exhausted.
<<hugs>>
Steve
