What to say

Rebecca L 

I am in a very similar situtation.  My dearest and oldest friend as fought so bravely over the last few years.  Last November she was told she was in remission - joy short lived last month the news that it was in lungs and she failed to tolerate chemo again, and was told the worst. there is so much good intentions - yet what do I say!! 

Now these last few weeks I try and remain upbeat, she told me recently she has written a list of what she wants to do and who she want to see.  I praised her strength and her planning of these last months - telling her that would love to see it when I called next - saying as long as she hadden got me marked down to do skydiving with her.

You cannot say the wrong thing if it is coming from love and deep friendship - if there is something you find difficult - just says oops not sure I know what to say about that -but I am a good listener, speaking to you without answers will air her concerns .  If like the question over her husband - maybe ask would she like you to find someone to speak with.

MacMillan over the phone could help you they are wonderful to speak to.

Just be the good friend you are and be a good listener.  

You are ok to be angry and sad - you are dealing with this too.

Take care.

Thank you so much for your lovely reply. I'm so very sorry about your friend. She's very lucky to have you. 

I suppose one of the hardest parts is the speed from diagnosis to this point. And she's only early 40s and it's been a matter of months. So understandably it's very raw and hard to accept. I doubt time changes that. 

I just want to help her as best I can, as do all her friends. 

Thank you for showing me by being there it's enough. I wish you and your friend lots of love