Christmas & cancer

My husband has just started 5 weeks of chemoradiation for oesophageal cancer (T4a N2 M0). We get Christmas and Boxing Day off, but the thought of food shopping and cooking everything filled me with dread. I don’t know how he is going to be in a week’s time so I bought frozen everything and have it as a back up in case anything gets in the way of the festivities. I’m going to take cake to the radiography waiting room all of next week for the carers, staff and patients (once they’ve had their treatment). Hopefully it will make me feel more festive as I could just skip it all at the moment. We won’t be seeing anyone over Christmas so it will just be food for four, which makes things a lot easier. I think new year will be harder as they found a tumour on 30th December last year. Sending love and get your Christmas jumper on for those around you, if not for yourself. Xx

My dad got diagnosed with terminal lung cancer two years ago in May. This is the second Christmas I have thankfully had with him since his diagnosis but this year was harder as the cancer has unfortunately spread through several parts of his body. It was incredibly hard to deal with, I had a lovely day with him and my family and then just went home to cry.

Sometimes, the best thing you can do is just cry. Cancer is such a tough thing to live through, I often sneak off to cry so I don't have to show him how upset it makes me as he must already be feeling terrible in himself. It's tough, but the good thing about having such a strong family around you is that they are there to support you and one another. We don't talk about it much though, which does not help but it is our way of coping I guess. We as a family simply don't want to accept it, I have though and it's hard. The only thing I did this Christmas was just show him how much I love him. That was pretty much the only thing I could do.

Keep your head up, it's okay to not be okay. Let your emotions out, even if it's to a partner or to yourself in your room. I usually keep a journal and write my emotions down when things get too tough for me. You've got this, I wish you many blessings and love for the new year. You aren't going through this alone, you have many others by your side even if we are just strangers we are going through similar situations and need to lean on eachother.

Hug them close and let them know you love them, it's just as hard for them as it is for you.

Much love <3 

I'm really sorry it has taken me this long to respond to you. But thank you for taking the time to write and I really appreciate hearing other people's perspectives.

I hope your day was as okay as it could be in the end? It sounds like you tried to make it as manageable as possible which is an amazing idea. 

I think the whole Christmas period is a lot of pressure and it takes a lot of planning even without having cancer as part of the process. Which holds a whole new level of anxiety, pressure, overwhelm, emotional baggage to go through.

I'm sending my love and I hope you're doing okay