Dad's cancer is terminal

Hi c889 

Well done for finding our community because we get it - cancer sucks but does not often make a great conversation point so people shy away from talking about it. 

My wife's mum died of a heart attack when she was 16. There are people out there but can be a bit thin on the ground.

If we look at your feelings when someone has cancer we can see a whole range of emotions people go through - all perfectly normal - well in the new normal we find ourselves in. Just being able to recognize these feelings though can help to give us some degree of control.

Do post whenever and hopefully someone nearer your age might be in touch since I am rather older but having been living with my wife's cancer for over 10 years now.

<<hugs>>

Steve

I'm going through this right now, dad has declined treatment and we've done a year so far and I'm struggling to cope more and more, it doesn't help my dad lives 500 miles away either. I'm here if you need to talk 

Thank you for this

Thank you. I'm sorry to hear you're going through something similar, it must be really hard to cope with your dad declining treatment. I think the waiting is a huge part of the agony. 

Hi c889,

So sorry for what you're going through, and I don't think you sound selfish at all. Someone in their 20s is definitely too young to lose their parent. My mum's stage 4 and I'm terrified of losing her. I've just turned 30 and my twin brothers are only 25. It feels like we've barely got started with our lives, and I get really upset if I think about all the things my mum might miss. My poor best friend lost her dad when she was 11 then her mum at 29, and yet most of our friends still have both parents AND some grandparents. Sometimes life is really unfair, but you're not alone on here and definitely not selfish x

II’m so sorry to read this , I lost my dad when I was 19, I am now 41- and I felt exactly the same And. Now 20 years on my mum Has been battling cancer for 2.5 years and this week it has gone to her brain -  I ahve so many people around but still feel so lonely  and broken- like no one understands - and no one wants to listen xx I’m here if anyone needs a chat x 

Hi Trainspotter so sad to read that your mum's cancer has spread. It's quite a while since I have posted or even looked on this community because after losing my husband it was just too difficult. But you have often been in my thoughts and I have wondered how your mum was doing. Take each day as it comes and make sure you make memories together. Love from Grasan

Hiya Grasan, it is lovely to hear from you x thank you for your kind words xx  and for messaging x I do often wonder how u have been, xx I’ve sent you a wass app message if u are still on the same number xxxxxxxx 

I'm so sorry to hear you're going through the same and thank you so much. I think, like you said, it's really hard to come to terms with the idea that they won't be there for things. Makes you really reflect on our mortality. I really hope you and your brothers are finding some comfort in each other. You're right sometimes life is unfair and it sucks. Thank you x

I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this again, this must be so difficult to relive that trauma all over again. I get you, I am surrounded by people who care about me but the immense emotions feel so lonely. It does feel like that, I guess we become sort of a broken record to other people because it's all we can think about all the time. You're not alone, I very much feel your pain. Thank you x