Struggling with Dad’s cancer

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My Dad was diagnosed with colorectal cancer in April 2021. He had an operation which successfully removed it all and a stoma fitted. His 1 year on scan showed the cancer had metastasised to his liver but it was thankfully operable. He has had to have 4 months of chemo to shrink it first and although scans show it has successfully shrank the chemotherapy has severely knocked his strength. He was taken into intensive care 2 weeks ago due to low blood pressure which occurred due to dehydration & lack of food from the chemo side effects and since he’s came out he seems to have lost his motivation to build himself back up ready for the operation. He doesn’t seem interested in anything at all and is losing independence rapidly. Has anyone had a similar experience? Or can anyone give advice on how I can motivate and support him to build his strength by getting outdoors for short walks/getting his own shopping/going for a coffee?

Any help at all would be amazing.

Thanks in advance x

sistermoon over 1 year ago

Hi kjh14

I'm sorry to hear of all that your dad has been through. I have been through major surgery, chemo and radio myself and know that your dad will be physically and mentally affected by it all. It is also likely that adjusting to a stoma may be an issue. Would your dad open up to you if you had a chat with him about the way he is feeling or would he talk to a health professional? Would he speak to his CNS or stoma nurse? Would you or your dad like to speak to someone here at Macmillan? The phone lines are open and this is the link to contact www.macmillan.org.uk/.../contact-us

It is a difficult situation as it is very hard to motivate someone that in some ways seems to have given up. I think it's wise to protect your own wellbeing and accept that you can only help as your dad will allow. It may be worth getting in touch with his GP and seeing what support they could offer, it could be that your dad is depressed or would benefit from counselling. I'm sorry that it's not a quick fix but I genuinely hope that the situation improves. Best wishes,

A x

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