Aside from the obvious what is the worst part about cancer?
My amazing wife has a tough road ahead with a very rare cancer and while we wait for CT scans/ MRI results etc cannot escape the thoughts of the what ifs, maybes in fact nothing but cancer…
We don’t like surprises and want to know what the worst parts are so we can navigate things mentally better ahead.
For us so far it is the inability to think of anything else and the fact we cannot comprehend a future - even the next few weekends ahead let alone years ahead
So aside from the obvious what have we got ahead of us?
Ah the million dollar question - trouble is nobody knows. I love the idea that I am in control of my life but truly nobody knows. There is a useful little quote "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift, which is why we call it the present"
I know I was really struggling with the not knowing bit, my what if's dominated my life and stopped me enjoying today and I was not really much use for anything. I did a living with less stress course that really helped me. Life still throws curveballs and the conscious breathing techniques help me cope with them. Waiting for a scan result tends to worry everyone and we often call than scanxiety.
My wife's cancer is also rare - Leiomyosarcoma - great when she sees a GP and they look it up on wikipedia.
post on here whenever you need though, someone always listening.
<<hugs>>
Steve
Thanks Steve,
I will have a look at that course.
I’m living with hope until we know more whereas she is already resigned to the worst outcome Based on what we do know.
it’s a bit worrying the GPs don’t know what your wife has.
thank you
I recognise what you are feeling - 2 years in and I have started automatically replying to invitations from friends with "I'll put it in the diary but we really can't plan more than 1 week ahead." Each time my husband meets a consultant there seems to be a change of plan. He has always been good at living in the moment - but me, well I'm the one that does all the planning in our relationship, so I find it harder, especially as I can't complain to him! We have had one or two good, last minute, few days away - when I have spotted a week or two's gap in treatment coming up, with consultants going on holiday themselves, but I never book anything till we get there. With the timing of my husband's diagnosis, the world came out of lockdown and we remained in it!
People often use rollercoaster rides as an analogy for cancer treatment - I have never liked rollercoasters! I live with a backup plan for everything - if my husband is not fit for event A, is there a plan for me to do it alone? if he's so unfit I have to stay with him, is there a plan for someone else to stand in?
I've looked for courses, because I think they could help, but the links from this site to find dates near me didn't work - the email just bounced. I haven't found any help.
I got some trays this week to contain his meds in each of four rooms of the house, because they were spreading everywhere and beginning to drive me to distraction and a constant reminder!
Cancer treatments March 2021 - October 2023
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