My mum is terminal

Hi Luciee 

Welcome to our family, brought together in adversity but where we just 'get it'.

What you describe is sometimes referred to as pre-grief - the 'death' of the life we expected to live and that grief can be overwhelming and prevent us appreciating what we have here and now but also the years we have had together - those times you mum did that made you who you are.

For me - I broke, I ended up doing a living with less stress course. The mindfulness bit really helped to get my head around the idea that I was allowing fear of the future block me from loving the here and now - and that black future I feared was often much worse that actually happened. Then there was conscious breathing that helped me cope when life threw a curveball out ot the blue but also was quite good too at helping me relax - and get some sleep.

One of the great things I find with this forum is the feeling of being less alone, we have been there and somehow typing at a total stranger can feel so close.

<<hugs>>

Steve

Hi Steve, not sure how else to message you but saw you recently replied on this thread ( a lot if other threads appear ok, so know you are still active on this thread) 

I was reading your wife’s story and picked up in her womb ‘exploded’.  Whilst I don’t thing that happened to my wife exactly she did have a major vaginal bleed.  I have documented somewhere on here but very interested in communicating with you about your experience.

My Mum just got told hers is incurable. We do not yet have a prognosis or the palliative treatment plan. It could take two or three weeks for that.

I don’t know if I can offer advice but maybe a hand to hold while you take this journey.

I think there are some resources around her for how to talk to your children.

I’ve also found the chat support very helpful for me because you can get direct replies, in private, from a nurse.

anyway, I am extending my hand to hold from afar. Perhaps a little selfishly because I’m as lost as you. X

Hi ajc0454 - when my wife collapsed at the GP's surgery she was blue-lighted to hospital. She had an emergency hysterectomy and at that point they diagnosed "pyometra" - basically a retained infection in the womb and it had ruptured resulting in her being in intensive care after a significant sepsis incident. Only months afterwards did they find the cancer that they think must have come from her womb. Still that was all some years ago now - Janice's cancer is currently stable and so we are living with cancer.

Hi Steve, thanks for your reply. Yes this sounds much more serious than our episode, it’s must have been very scary I know we were really shocked at scared about the volume of blood and other matter mainly mucus.

we have never been told the exact cause, not sure they even know the source, although after the US we were told it was a polyp which at hysteroscopy was described as ‘dense’ a biopsy was taken and I believe the polyp removed, the bleeding had reduced by that point but never stopped completely even after biopsy, we were told by letter it was endometrial hyperplasia with low risk of cancer developing but it suggested that the way forward was a hysterectomy, at the formal follow up they changed the diagnosis to atypical complex endometrial hyperplasia which amounts to pre cancer cells present.  An hysterectomy followed on the 13th January,  follow op we heard the doctor attending the next day mention a fibroid, which when we received a copy of the GP letter they sent to advise the practise what had been done, that also  said atypical hyperplasia and fibroid uterus.

On looking at fibroids most are benign, however some -harbour sarcoma, which is how I came here with that fear.   My wife since the start of this had developed a morning cough which is chesty, my worry is that if she has indeed got a sarcoma has it already spread to her lungs, I know this is a jump but the reason I asked my question to you was to see what your experience was, cos at the back of my mind was a concern that a fibroid may have ruptured hence the massive haemorrhage type bleed at the start.

we are expecting the lab results in the next week or so.

very happy your life is stable at the moment and your wife is as well. 

thanks for talking.

Alan