Mum diagnosed - how do you process this?

Hey Daisy2323 

it such an awful situation but you  just try to navigate the best you can and be there to support your mum it’s all you can do.  Alway here to chat xx

I’m trying to come to terms with this just now. Mum has been diagnosed with stage 4b womb cancer and been told no surgery/chemo or radio. We are looking at palliative care options. My heart hurts with the pain of this reality. I’m thinking I need to seek support from counselling and so it’s interesting to hear of the experiences of others. The strength others show is so admirable and inspiring. I am hoping to find some strength so that I can support my mum every step of the way. 

Hi Missclarabo, I'm so so sorry to hear about your mum, it's the absolute worst news to hear and I know how you feel, my mum has cancer and it's treatable but not curable, every time she has chemo ,he ends up in hospital with a infection and usually contracts sepsis which isn't good for her, her body will weaken but she wants to keep going which like you said I admire her for and she is a compte warrior, she had chemo on Tuesday and usually falls ill on the the fourth day which is tomorrow, I'm so anxious tonight and worried, im going to consider counselling, i think i need it.

Mum told me she just wants to have a normal life as possible and just keep going so we do the best we can , take life one day at a time and enjoy every day, I hope this helps xx

It’s just so difficult to process isn’t it. I hope your mum isn’t too unwell this round. They consultant said my mum was too ill to have chemo. I’m my head I had my heart set on chemo and a miracle. Immunotherapy would be too gruelling they said. 
I go from feeling blessed and lucky to have time to prepare and cherish with mum as opposed to losing her to a heart attack or accident. But I just want to know I have done everything possible to make sure there’s nothing else we can do.

I don’t want mum to suffer but I want to have as long as possible. 

I know exactly how you feel, the day we found out it had come back after being clear from tongue cancer and being free, my just cried and cried.

And on top of that, she can't eat or drink since the first cancer still, the throat has closed up so has a rig put in place, it's so frustrating for her.

Can you get a second opinion or a referral to a different hospital to give your mum a chance? Someone I know went for a trial at Christies in Manchester

I know your want your mum here for as long you can and I feel the same, its heartbreaking and so upsetting, come on here anytime to vent or just talk

Hi, unfortunately I’m now in the same position - two weeks ago we were informed the cancer had spread further than they thought, and mum is in her final weeks of life (now days). I am so angry that we were told there was hope of treatment for this to be cruelly taken away. 
I can completely relate to the hurt in your heart knowing there is nothing you can do to change the situation  

I hope you can spend some precious time together to create memorie, and that you have as much time left as possible. 

happy to chat anytime x

Hello. 

I have also just found out that my mum has stage 4 incurable lung cancer. She has never smoked and has always led such a healthy life. The diagnosis has come as such a huge shock to our family. We are heartbroken. 

I don’t know anyone else in the same situation so I found a little comfort knowing I am not the only one. I am incredibly close to my mum and seeing how quickly the cancer has gripped her is terrifying. She starts treatment this Friday so I am hoping she will respond well to it. 

How are you getting on? In the two months since you posted, have you found anything that has helped either of you, or the rest of your family?

Sending love ️ 

 BusyBee90 I commented on this thread as I am in the same position. It’s such a devastating situation for all. Like you I am so close to my mum. 
initially we were advised no treatment but then they decided that there was a chemo we could try. Mum was clear that her priority is having quality of life for the time she has left. Thankfully her first dose of chemo has been ok and she hasn’t been unwell with it. We know it won’t cure but hope it will give us more precious time. 

personally I have found comfort by reading up, I visited these forums lots in the first couple of weeks post diagnosis and took great strength from others. 

I’ve also contacted some family support groups such as Macmillan and Maggies. For now we are all coping ok but I know that when the time comes, having support from these charities will help.

I go through stages of anger, despair and denial. As mum is keeping well for now, in some ways I am in denial as it doesn’t seem as tho mum is any different. However, then it hits me out of the blue. The first chemo treatment made it feel real.
All I can suggest is to keep sharing- use this forum and ask when you need advice. Feel free to message me anytime you want to talk or share with someone who is going through the same. 

Just spend time when you can with your mum. A friend said this to me. “Spend precious time when you can, but don’t crowd her. There will be other people she wants to spend time with too. And she wants to see you being an independent successful woman she is proud of. Then she will know ultimately you’ll be ok”

I am trying to hold to that and make my mum proud every day.

Hi Busybee, I'm so sorry you are going through this, it's a absolute nightmare, we are all in the same boat, my mum is going through chemotherapy, consultant had buggered it up, she was supposed to go on the 14th of March but some how forgot?? So is now going tomorrow, its so long 9:30,till 6:30. I often wonder if that has made a difference in her life expenty?? I I hope nor.

I hope everything goes well for your mum and sending you massive hugs and best wishes xxx

Please let us know how it goes xx

Thank you so much for your response. 

Reading that has helped so I think you are right - reading up on things and discussing it will help me. Some people don’t like to talk about things but I am the opposite. I need to talk to cope. 

In what has been a relatively short amount of time, I have felt may waves of emotion including anger, denial etc. it’s good to know that feeling these things is normal. 

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