HI I am new here, but where to begin. My heart is breaking, my son was first diagnosed with Testicular cancer earlier this year, it was whirlwind of emotions and of time. He had his operation within a week of finding out, had the prosthesis implant the same day. By the sixth week it was all over and he was told he was clear. Obviously we knew he would need continuous screening for five years, His first was on my birthday in September. The wait seemed endless. One Thursday he came round unexpectedly, the first thing I asked him was about this results, ''That's why I am here'' he said.. I knew straight away it was not good news, he now has cancer in his lymph nodes. I am an emotional wreck despite the Oncologist being hopeful of a full recovery. He is having aggressive chemo, has had covid twice really badly which he caught at hospital. We know this because his wife is working from home and he has not seen anybody for months. anyway what I really need help with is the relationship between myself and my Daughter-in-law. (she fell pregnant a few days after he got first all clear.) She is not keen on me visiting my son or seeing him, I understand the torment and emotions she is probably going through as her Mum has a brain tumour and they just moved into their own home stripped it bare but cannot fix it up because my son is too sick and they dare not have contractors in due to my sons weak immune system. I feel helpless, cannot do anything practical for them, in fact cannot do anything. She is screening his calls so I wont call, I message him and when he can pick his phone up he replies (he is so weak some days even the phone is too heavy) I only get the basics when I message his wife. How can I make this right? I need to see him, I would quite happily stand outside the house and talk with him through the window, but I am too scared to ask. This should be an exciting time with new baby and house its all so unfair... Does anybody have any similar experiences ?? I am angry sad confused and lonely with this or am I being selfish ??
Hi Porscha
It might be worth while looking at your feelings when someone has cancer as there we can see many of the feelings you describe even without the issue of it being your son, the new baby and the rest.
With the two rounds of covid on top of everything else I am sure your daughter-in-law is also really concerned about infection too. I wonder if it might help you to talk to one of the staff on our helpline here as they might have an idea of how to help you - just ring 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week, 8am to 8pm
<<hugs>>
Steve
