I'm new to the group, thank you for allowing me here. Everthing has happened so fast.
Firstly my mum doesn't like me googling or interfering so straight off makes it hard. She has also kept a stiff upper lip all of her life and tells me off for being so emotional... actually it's because I'm a very caring person.
So... tomorrow my husband & I will pick mum up to take her a half hour journey to hospital. Mum is having a neck disecction as the cancer is very aggressive and now affecting her swallowing. We are terrified as she has previously been knocked back pre-ol stage for a new hip and gall bladder removal as the risk of the general anaesthetic is too high. She has heart issues.
Having googled things we know it is a horrendous journey ahead. I'm trying not to be selfish as obviously mums fears will be huge too but I genuinely don't know how we are going to manage tomorrow when my mum leaves my 92 year old dad. They have been married 64 years. I have to be strong and positive but inside feel the total opposite fearing it could be the last time we see her. I don't know what to say or do to make things easier. If I actually can at all?
Hi Mgemand welcome to our community, the greatest group we hope nobody ever has to join.
My parents were of the generation of "keep a stiff upper lip" - wonderful idea until it isn't - I know I broke.
Google can be a wonderful tool but people do love sharing horror stories - same often in the newspapers where they publish what sells.
Filling in consent forms for almost any operation can be frightening, with almost any general anaesthetic one possible side effect is "you might die" - but the anaesthetist will not want that on their record and would only do the operation if they were fairly confident that the likely benefits outweigh the risks. Indeed the NHS would not even fund it if that were true - something some people find slightly reassuring.
I know on my journey I have been able to imagine many things that were going to be worse than they actually turned out in the end, fingers crossed for your mum's op.
<<hugs>>
Steve
