I'm so angry.
After being relatively 'lucky' my mum after with a breast cancer diagnosis and having surgery and radiotherapy she was starting to come out the other side of this horrible time. She's been really struggling with the drugs and after much trial and error eventually managed to just about cope with the side effects of Tamoxofen.
But we kept going back to the oncologist saying that she was really breathless and struggling with bone pain and several other side effects which were just put down to the Tamoxofen.
Post Covid I was eventually allowed to accompany her to an appointment at the end of last year and after saying again that her breathing was getting worse her agreed she needed and MOT and referred her to the chest clinic.
Initial appointment - did a chest x ray, no concerns but her breathing function was so bad they decided to do a CT scan just in case but advised it was probably asthma, worse case COPD.
Its lung cancer. Not a secondary cancer, a new one. Didn't see it on the chest x ray at first because its hiding behind her heart.
I just can't process this. They are pretty convinced its not a secondary but a new cancer - we find out how bad week after next. She is already going downhill so quickly with barely being able to walk, dizziness, no appetite and that was before the shock of being told this.
I feel like the worst daughter in the world. I kept saying to her that cough was getting worse and I don't think I pushed her hard enough to make sure she was telling her oncologist how much it was affecting her. I feel guilty I just accepted what they were saying and haven/t been fighting hard enough for her.
I just don't know how to get through this one.
