Partner just diagnosed with breats cancer

Hi col1789 you sound like a really lovely husband and your wife is very lucky to have you.

I had breast cancer too and from my perspective the best thing you can do is be honest and talk to your wife about how you are feeling.  We are all different, some of us want lots of attention and care and others just want to be left alone to get on with it ourselves.  I wanted to be left alone and not fussed over, talking about it made it worse and being fussed over would have just made me feel a victim I wanted things to carry on as normal as much as possible.

So in my opinion the only way to give your wife what she wants through this difficult period is to ask her and maybe to keep asking her every so often as what she wants or needs might change.

Don't forget to look after yourself as well as it will be a stressful time for you too. Talk to friends, post on here, call MacMillan if you need to or seek more professional help via your GP.

Wishing you and your wife all the best.

As godwilling says your wife is very lucky to have you. Just the fact you’re asking shows you’ll do the right thing. I guess we all need something different but the important thing is to listen, empathise and listen and empathise some more! Recognise that you can’t solve the problems yourself but you can listen to her worries and frustrations. Be available to take her to appointments, even if you’re waiting outside because of restrictions and ask her what you can do to make it easier for her. Lots of us have problems sleeping with the treatment and steroids so a willingness to go in the spare room occasionally to give her space might be something she’d appreciate, the worry of waking a loved one when you’re up all night is stressful. I wish you both the very best of luck x