This has been the most awful year after finding out my mum had lung cancer in February. She was already poorly so a biopsy wasn’t possible either. I tried to stay positive with the support of my husband and I had to keep going for my daughter. Being an only child it felt tough and lonely. I try and remind myself I’m not the only one going through this, telling myself to be strong for my mum. Our family is abroad so it’s literally always felt like it’s just us. They have been calling and are supportive though.
Mums radiotherapy was in May she seemed to improve for a while. She also has osteoarthritis and went downhill in August with her mobility so we managed to get her a hospital bed and after physio and cortisone in her knees again she improved. Then at the end of September she deteriorated we called the ambulance and they said she had an infection she had to be taken in. I went to visit her once she was on a ward and she looked so weak, confused almost child like I felt so sad for her. She didn’t know what was happening, but knew who I was. I asked the nurse for an update and it was her who told me about the mets on the brain which was a complete shock to me. Turned out to be 1 at 1.4 cm. I had believed my mum was getting better I hadn’t even thought this would happen after the lung cancer. I now know it’s very common. After a week in hospital she improved and came to stay with me. My goal was to keep her healthy for her SRS radiotherapy one high dose treatment. This was on the 3rd November. After she told me she felt better within days. She had a couple of off days, but generally not too bad. Two weeks ago a month after treatment she began to deteriorate complaining of headaches and she was loosing her mobility. After being unable to get her up we called the ambulance. I arrived at A&E the next day and my poor mum looked so unwell worse than ever. She’s 63 not old in my eyes, but that day it hit me how poorly she actually was. The A&E doctor told me there was swelling on the brain and the tumour had progressed I was absolutely heartbroken. My mum is on her 6th day in hospital. She was unable to move her left arm/hand or leg and was nil by mouth on day 1-3 of hospital. She then began to take teaspoon of liquids, the next day drank from a sippy cup and now is on purée soft food she even brushed her own teeth. I feel like I’m clinging on to every positive in the hope she’ll be ok and recover. She hasn’t been able to get out of bed. She can’t even lift herself up to sit up.My step dad and I visit her daily for hours I feel guilty when I leave her but my daughter is missing me. They putting plans in place to discharge her and palliative care. Today was a tough day she was so weak I am so scared I of loosing her and yet so sad to see her so unwell. They confirmed there is nothing more they can do and the steroids have not shown any improvement. Any advise how to deal with this please?
Hi NickyB19
Sorry to hear about your mum, I certainly recognize how it can be when an infection takes hold on top of everything else and seems to wipe out the one we love.
Sounds like there is a element of good news in getting out of the hospital, that is likely to make everyone more comfortable but it is important to make sure the right support services are in place not just for your mother but for you too and your daughter.
In my case it is my wife with cancer; I ended up doing a living with less stress course that really helped me. I realised I was trying to work out how to cope is some future and it stopped me appreciating what I had today. The breathing exercises were great too for then life decided to lob something unexpected at us.
Do post on here whenever and remember you are more than welcome to ring the phoneline too.
<<hugs>>
Steve
