Dad diagnosed terminal liver cancer

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My dad has just been given the news that he has primary liver cancer, it is not operable and they have said they don’t think he is strong enough for treatment as his liver is already not functioning properly. This has come as a huge shock to both my dad and my mum as 12 weeks ago he had no symptoms other than anaemia. I can’t believe a) how long it has taken them to give him a diagnosis (CT scan results showing a tumour was back in August) and b) how quickly he has deteriorated since then. It’s hard not to feel angry that they didn’t start treatment when he may have been strong enough and now he’s too weak. But I also know these thoughts are not helpful and won’t change anything. They still do not know the specific cancer he has, just that it’s in his liver and they think it’s primary liver cancer. He has been sent home from hospital with this devastating news (he has been in hospital for a week due to ascites and low blood level) they have said his first oncologist appointment will be in a couple of weeks, but it just feels at the minute he has been sent home to die with no support or information. I just don’t know what to do, what to expect or how to help them, sorry for the long message just struggling with it all today. 
if anyone has any experience of liver cancer I would really appreciate any advice on what to expect so I can prepare myself and be in a stronger position to support my parents 

  • Hi TR1968

    Welcome to the family and friends forum, sorry that you find yourself here due to Dad being diagnosed with Liver cancer, but it is a place where you can experience great support. 

    I wonder though if you would also like to join HERE this is the Liver cancer forum where others both with a diagnosis, and who have loved ones like yourself with the diagnosis are communicating and sharing experiences. 

    I  hope they will be able to give you some answers or advice and I do hope that some help comes to your Dad soon.

    Sending strength to your family

    Lowe'

    Call the helpline for free on 08088080000, 8am to 8pm everyday.
    Tomorrow is not promised but it always has potential. Aim for your potential!
  • Hi,

    I'm so sorry you and your family are going through this. I'm sorry, I don't have any experience of dealing with liver cancer but I wanted to reach out and say I know how you're feeling because the same thing has happened this week to our family and my Dad. As your message was 18 days ago I hope you've had more information since your Dad was discharged. I've found the articles on here useful in terms of knowing what to expect towards the end (and very practical which makes it somehow less scary) - but it is so hard not knowing how long we might have with him.

    Sending you hugs.

  • Hi, thank you for replying and I am sorry you find yourself in the same position. Things have escalated very quickly with my dad, he deteriorated last week and is now completely bedridden, very weak. In the space of 2 weeks we went from not knowing a prognosis, to a 6 month prognosis, to 2-3 months and now they think he is in his last 2 weeks, just can’t believe how quickly this is all happening. We have had to adjust very quickly from my dad doing everything to me and my mum caring for him completely. I am currently sleeping on a chair in the living room, with my dad in a hospital bed next to me. I still don’t think Me or my family have processed this and we’re just going through the motions of what we need to do to keep him comfortable 

  • Oh I'm so sorry to hear that. I'm sure that just by being there you're giving your Dad comfort. It's happened so quickly that it's very natural to feel like you haven't been able to process it and that you're just going through the motions.  Unless you're a professional or experienced care-giver I think most people probably would feel like that in your situation - don't underestimate the difference you are making by keeping your Dad comfortable and being there for him. Sending you and your family strength over the coming days and weeks.