My Mum has today, been disgnosed with stage 4 breast cancer

Morning

Sorry to see you joining us here and reading about your mums lung secondary such a long time since her original diagnosis :-/

When a cancer returns in a different part of the body (with breast cancer this is more commonly Lungs, Bones or Liver) it is always classed as stage 4. This basically means it is now incurable, but that doesn't mean untreatable; far from it....

You can find the Mac Info page about Secondary Breast Cancer to the Lung here. It covers symptoms, diagnosis and treatment options.

There are many members in the Secondary Breast Group who have been having their secondaries kept 'stable' for many years - There is a thread titled Positive Secondary Breast Cancer Stories you could have a read through if things start getting you down.

When your mum gets her phone call with her treatment plan you can start a new discussion in the Secondary Group you joined to ask about any questions you may have about what is entailed, side effects etc.

Quite a few have had their cancer treatments tweaked during this Covid19 issue to keep their hospital visits to a minimum; this doesn't mean she will be given inferior treatments just they have found ways of minimising risk like giving patients chemotherapy tablets instead of iv infusions in the chemo unit etc

Hope this is of some help at a tough time, take care, G n' J

Thank you for your response. Knowing treatment has been tweaked and still continues is certainly encouraging. I've completed quite a bit of research and have become familiar with the options available for treatment which has provided some comfort.

I am very anxious as looking at the symptoms, everything is pointing to a very late stage diagnosis. Shes exhausted all the time, sleeps alot through the day, struggles with her breathing and catching her breath, trouble swallowing food, often constipated, numbness in her hands every morning. Then there's conditions which have been going on for months, balance probelms, dizziness, confusion, memory problems - shes constantly forgetting what's shes previous said to anyone and forgets what's shes been told regularly. Can treatments reverse these symptoms?

Morning 

Sounds like your poor mum has a heck of a lot going on some of which may or many not be cancer related ?

The breathlessness and fatigue could be due to the lung cancer spread or anaemia, numbness in the hands possible poor blood circulation problem - Balance, dizziness and confusion may be signs of a UTI or early symptoms of dementia :-/

I don't know your mums age but was she in reasonably good health prior to finding this lung spread or has she had a gradual decline going on for quite a while ? UTI's can cause a host of problems in the elderly (some can become serious)

A lot of the above can be checked for with a blood test to see what she has going on. You could try giving her small portions of high protein semi pureed foods often to help with the swallowing problem, she may find big portions of 'chunky' food a bit offputting.

Have you had a word with her GP about her current issues, or any contact back from the hospital yet ?

Best wishes, G n' J

Hi 

My mother in law was diagnosed with secondary stage 4 cancer. Just over 3 and a half years ago. Throughout this time, she has gone through times and had symptoms just like your mum which turned out to be something needing tweaking such as meds too strong or not strong enough. Many of times we had thought something was really wrong but actually wasn’t as concerning as we first thought. Unfortunately now for us we have just been told she has a few months now and they are struggling to get her bloods under control low sodium high calcium. So this is causing her to get confused and not remember things, tired, weaker, balance problem and no appetite. My mother in law was 60 when diagnosed and the primary was renal cancer but secondary in the brain too. She had 3 different treatments so there is hope.
I really hope your as lucky as we have been and you get a good chunk of time with your mum. Sending love to you x

Hi, thank you for your encouraging message. I've been so upset thinking theres only months but with the previous message and yours, the possibility of 3 years would be such a comfort as my daughters only 11 so close with her. She haasnt started any treatment yet and has just turned 67. Shes is not anaemic but does suffer with UTI's often. Shes had a ct scan on her brain but nothing showed up so looks like it's just in her lungs at the moment. 

Its encouraging to hear people survive 3+ years as this could make such a difference to us.

Thank you again x

I am sorry to hear you have only been given months left with your mother in law now. Much love for you and your family x

She suffers with alot of UTI, doctor thinks is due to her prolapse but has had 2 failed surgeries to fix it and not sure much else is being done for her regarding that. She has blood tests almost every fortnight for various reasons but these symptoms have been going on for a while now, same with insomnia sometimes. I have stated to write down a load of questions to speak with the nurse or consultant with next time we head to the hospital. Should hear from them within the next week for her first appointment.

I will make her a stew, anything to stop her eating sugary cereals constantly! 

Thank you for your advice and opinions, you are helping tremendously x

Bless you, I can remember being exactly where you are now looking at information and feeling like everything is all pointing towards at worst possible outcome. I had never had to deal with family having cancer before so was all so new to me and upsetting as the internet can be very scary while your going through all this. Doesn’t always tell you the positive stories. I don’t know much about cancer but to me it sounds positive that’s it only in one place right now. 
I can remember my mother in law going through times when she would be very tired and confused etc and that was due to UTI she would end up in hospital and then come home again after being looked after in there and be ok again. 
I totally understand how you feel with your daughter, this is the reason I came here this morning. We have 3 children 13, 10 and 4. The older two particularly have always been so close with her and I have no idea how to approach this situation, am I honest and say time is limited or so I wait until the time comes. She lives in an Annex on the side of the house so they see her everyday. This is just a minefield for me I have no idea what’s right or wrong. 
I was scrolling through posts trying to get some ideas and spotted yours and just wanted to let you know there is hope and to be as positive as you can even though it is hard ️ sending love and strength your way xx

ps I always contact the consultant just leave a message with his secretary to see if we can have a call for updates especially with covid 19 we would usually be with her during appointments but can’t now. Often she is too confused to relay. So always worth a try. x