Hi all, I’m not sure what I’m hoping to get from joining this group but I don’t want to talk with my friends about things because I feel like they feel sorry for me and that’s not something I want, the sad eyes. And I just want to carry on as normal, but there are times when it all feels very overwhelming and I don’t know who to talk to. We are very close as a family, but I don’t want to cry every time I see them because I want us to feel as happy as possible when we are together, not wallowing in sadness.
Over the last 15 years, mum has had breast cancer twice, chemo, radiotherapy and mastectomy. After having a persistent cough for a couple of months she went to the doctors, had a scan to find a mass on her lung...secondary breast cancer in lung and lymph nodes, prognosis, 6 months.
We felt as though a bus had run us over and cried and cried. Mum declined treatment, which we all felt was the right thing to do as we knew how poorly it would make her and we had been told that there was only a small chance that it would slow it down by 3 months, so there really was no point. We chose quality over quantity. Then normality set in, and we carried on as normal.
We have had the most wonderful 5 months and have done so much together while mum has been fit, but recently signs of deterioration have started to appear and reality it setting in, and that sadness is creeping back.
I’m a mum of two under 3’s and am expecting another baby that Mum is unlikely to meet, and am struggling...not all the time, but some days feel like such a challenge. Trying to balance emotions, patience, kindness and hormones. My sister has had the roughest year and I try so hard to love and protect her, and don’t want to weigh her down with my sadness too. My husband pis wonderful in so many ways, but he struggles when I am sad and shuts down. So I sometimes feel very alone.
Hi and welcome to the community, though sorry to hear about your mum.
Here we all understand about the issues with family and friends, here we will understand without trying to take the pain away but perhaps just knowing there is someone out there and that you are not alone might be a help.
It sounds like your mum has made a really good job of making the best of a bad situation and so glad to hear you talk about those 5 wonderful months. With your family too it is not surprising you have been struggling.
<<hugs>>
Steve
