Cancer.

Hi , welcome to the online community, I noticed your post in the new to community and that you hadn't had a reply in here yet so popped in to say hello. I'm a patient myself but I find the older I get the more people I know that are affected by cancer, my cousin passed away in May. Although you haven't had a reply yet I'm glad you've joined this group and I'm sure someone else will be along with their experience.  

Its a lot to deal with in a short time, your Dad, your Mum, and your partners step-dad. I went through a time a few years back when my mum was very ill and then my husbands Mum and Dad its a lot to deal with, well it was for me it started affecting my enjoyment of work being stretched in too many directions. You've said that you are afraid to talk to people about it, I'm not sure if it is how your feeling or how to approach the cancer patients that you know, or perhaps a bit of both? 

Its very natural to have all sorts of feeling when someone close to you has cancer, you haven't said how your feeling exactly, and I don't know if you'd consider ringing the Macmillan support line (0808 808 0000 open 8am to 8pm) to talk that through or whether you'd feel able to express it here in a reply, or in the emotional issues group. I have found the information and support pages a big help myself to appreciate what I'm feeling is normal and to read through the suggestions for help. Because of that I thought Id put a few links in, just click on the green text and it will take you to the part in the Macmillan site I'm talking about. I was thinking about the section on when someone-close-has-cancer it has a section on how you might feel and how to get support, you might have already read it as one suggestion is to join the community here to talk to others who have been through feeling the same, which sounds at the moment as if that word might be overwhelmed.       

You've been through the cancer experience before so you might already know how to talk about cancer, but as I dont know if your Mum dealt with everything before and now you are having to step up I thought it might be useful to do a link to the talking about cancer section. I don't know if you've ever watched the friends episode when they are talking about having an all night chat and that person moves from boy/girlfriend to something closer, well I believe the same thing happens with a cancer diagnosis. My husband when I was diagnosed was staying really strong, to strong in a way and me to, I was becoming a bit of a Data or Spock type person, and it took a while to really talk together about how we were both feeling but I'm glad we did as it made every future conversation so much easier. I'm imagining a talk with your partner might be just as hard but rewarding as you both must have so much emotion going round in your heads. i must admit I found it easier to write was I was feeling down first before I could discuss it.

Well I seem to have been taking ages to write this, my excuse is a very dodgy mouse today, so I will wish you luck, and hope I have come to too many wrong conclusions about what was bothering you at the time of writing.

best wishes