hi. Newbie here. I’m hoping for advice I guess!! I have been my nans Carer for many years as she has had a lot of health problem. My Nan was diagnosed with stage 3 lung cancer last year and it was decided not to treat due to her health... this last 3 months she has declined really quickly including weight loss, sleeping all the time, not eating/drinking, being really confused etc etc. So far I’ve been looking after her totally on my own with only occasional visits from go and district nurse but now I’m starting to worry a lot!! I’m trying to get extra help and been passed from pillar to post - the only helpful call today was with the Macmillan nurse! I don’t know how long she has left and google is not my friend! How will I cope? I’ve also got 3 kids and struggling to split myself in 2 and be where I need to be when actually all I want to do is hide!!! Am I being unreasonable? Keep telling myself to stop feeling sorry for myself and get on with it xxx. Thanks in advance xx
Hi and welcome to the community though so sorry to hear about your nan.
You have been doing a tremendous job for a long time, I am surprised you have survived this long on your own so no you are not being unreasonable at all. I am glad you are in touch with the Macmillan nurse as they should be able to arrange some more support.
Wit a long term illness sometimes carers find respite care can help to recharge batteries, your local council should do a need assessment for your nan and a carers assessment for you - before you get ill too!
How old are your children? Are they aware of your nan;s condition? - sorry just more questions really.
<<hugs>>
Steve
Does the school know what is happening, often the kids will ask questions of the teachers and given the information they might be able to offer support.
My sod was 7 when Janice first go ill and has spent far too long in hospitals and when he was 9 I lost both my parents in the space of only 5 weeks and the support for school was an absolute godsend.
Hope you get the help you need as lots of people are relying on you.
<<hugs>>
Steve
We all rant on here, it is much better than exploding so no worries - we even have a special group the room designed specifically for major rants and slamming the door on the way out.
Our son is also autistic and we too are lucky to have a very good relationship with schools, not everyone is so lucky as I have met a lot of parents who have struggled. We are lucky in Oxford to have the support of a couple of really good charities Keen run by the Oxford University students arrange a whole host of activities in term time and Autism Family Support who arrange activities in the holidays.
Children are in general more resilient than we give them credit for but just like the rest of us it can help to talk to people some times, they too can feel they do not want to add to the burden of relatives but if it would help they could speak to the staff on the helpline here 0808 808 0000, it is open 8am-8pm 7 days a week. I know Maggies also does special support for children. We do have some advice on talking to children here and Macmillan partnered with Winstons Wish to create a book on preparing a child for loss when the time comes.
<<hugs>>
Steve
