Hi, I’m really struggling to come to terms with my mums illness.
8 weeks ago my mum went to hospital experiencing a lot of bowel problems. After numerous tests still no explanation to why she was having problems. After further tests and CT scans we was told my mum had pancreatic cancer.
she was diagnosed at stage 4 as the cancer had already spread to her liver and lungs.
We waited a couple of weeks for a biopsy on the liver to prove cancer was there as they said by law they have to prove it to be able to get chemo even though they knew it was cancer... So a month later after the biopsy proved it was they had set up intense chemo. This didn’t start for another two weeks! I felt this wait was a bit of a long time for stage 4 cancer.
Unfortunately 4 days before my mums chemo was due to start she was back in hospital with swelling (fluid) in her stomach which was causing her a lot of pain, she looked pregnant! She had this drained but while it was being drain she gained an infection in her white blood cells :( this ruled out her chance of chemo (heartbreaking)
she has deteriorated so much since. She’s so weak and tired a lot and gets breathless easily, she’s on oxygen.
She is now in a nursing home .. infact the one I work as a carer in ! ( was best choice out of her offers) I don’t work on the nursing floor I work beneath with dementia residents. I am glad I now can see her even when I work. But I am also so shocked and heartbroken at how quickly this has all happened. My mother is only 59 :( she is now on end of life after 8 weeks of diagnosis !! I never even knew about this cancer and how aggressive it is I guess I’m on here to rant my feelings. I don’t want to lose my mother but nothing I can do apart from support her. This is an evil disease and it is going to change all my family’s lives forever. My poor beautiful lovely mother she doesn’t deserve this I am struggling mentally to cope with it all. She is such a strong lady though, especially mentally.. I don’t know how she does it ! So that keeps me strong. I just fear the future without her.I guess I’m calling out for people to chat too and hear others stories with cancer
my heart goes out to everyone who is going through the same thing honestly
blessings
xxx
Hi and a very warm welcome to the online community at what sounds like a very difficult time for you and your family.
I'm not surprised to hear that you're struggling coming to terms with your mum's illness. As you have found a cancer diagnosis affects everyone and not just the person with cancer.
Although I'm sure you wish your mum didn't need to be in a nursing home it's great that it's the one that you work in as it means you can spend as much time as possible with her.
Although I'm not a member of this group I noticed that your post hadn't had any responses yet. This is probably because there are so many posts in this group it's fallen off the first page before people have had chance to read it and respond. By replying to you it will 'bump' it back to the top of the first page where it'll be seen again.
I don't know if you know but you've had some lovely words of support to your post in the pancreatic group. If you haven't seen them yet clicking here will take you to them.
Sending a supportive ((hug))
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
Hi
The family and friends group is one of the busiest groups which can mean at times posts get pushed off the first page before people have chance to reply. However, it's rare for a post not to get a reply at all and part of my role as a Community Champion is to look out for posts that have been missed and see if I can help. I just wish I could have said something really constructive to help you.
My cancer was melanoma so you'll normally find me in the skin cancer and melanoma groups but I also 'look after' the travel insurance group.
If you feel like talking to someone about how your mum's cancer is affecting you then you can give the Macmillan Support Line a call on 0808 808 0000. It's free to call and is available every day from 8am to 8pm. You don't have to be the one with cancer to talk to them and they're a friendly ear if want questions answering or you just need a chat.
It can be heart wrenching when it's decided not to give treatment to cure but it sounds like you're doing everything you can to make your mum comfortable and I'm sure she loves the fact that you're around so much.
Look after yourself too
xx
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
