Parents Diagnosis

Hi Bex91,

I was diagnosed with breast cancer April 2019 and have a daughter who's 31 and is my world. Telling her was the hardest thing I've ever done. Knowing it would devastate her and she lives a long way from me. She has no one to talk to and I can only imagine what she's going through dealing with this. You must feel similarly and it is horrendous. I want to stay strong for her and not show my emotions and she's doing the same for me. We talk about the cancer and treatment and it makes her feel good when she can do practical things to help. She's helping me while I recover from surgery. Most of the time we chat about other things and watch silly TV together. Just being there is the important thing. It's good you're staying positive. It's said a lot, but you have to take one day at a time. Treatment plans can change all the time and it's hard trying to understand and react to each change. I would appreciate any insights you can give me about how I can help my daughter. Sending hugs to you.

Hi Babs1313,

I understand where you are coming from with it being the hard to tell you daughter as my mum was really worried about telling me and my siblings as she wasn’t sure how I would react. As we are extremely close and do lots of things together. I live a few hours away so can’t be there all the time which is what I would like to do. 

I had quite a lengthy discussions about the treatment and the next steps my mum wants to be open and answer any questions we have which has really helped even if they are silly like... why can’t you eat this food or whatever  

Mum also told me it’s ok to be upset around her as she knows that’s who I am as a person - obviously I am trying to remain strong when I am there as you need s strong network around you to help you. 

Something which mum also told me and my siblings is to continue being us and not change as mum is still mum. So if I normally ring a few times a week I’m to still do that.  We shouldn’t Change our behaviour just because mums poorly. 

Sending hugs back to you and your daughter