Hello I'm David.
My Mum has terminal cancer and I'm really struggling, I have two sisters who live in different parts of the UK but are currently at home now looking after my Mum in what looks like to be her final days.
Where I'm struggling is I feel guilty that I'm not getting the time to be with my Mum as my two sisters are, my Mum is very quiet at the minute and I can't explain it's sort of a dazed state but she was never one to express she was feeling pain.
I used to see my Mum every day but now when she needs us the most for a mixture of reasons I can't spend the time with her in her final days as my two sisters are.
I run my own buisness which I cant put on hold but I've swapped hours about and I have my own family who want to spend as much time with their Nan but I'm finding my sisters constantly saying my mother is tired so it's like we're spending an hour or an hour and half then feeling obliged to leave.
How can I stop feeling so selfish at spending such short space of time while my sisters care for her 24 hours a day, hope you understand there are things my sisters can do for my Mum that I can't but it's not a case of me not wanting to do what they are.
The worst part is my Mum loves us all but I always was her favourite, she fed my kids during difficult times and would give my own family the clothes off her back.
Now I feel guilt because I can't give her 100% 24 hours a day for what little time she has left.x
Hi David,
I can recognise how you feel as first my brother and then my sisters took much more physical care of my parents that I did.
Two important things to remember though is that your mother is being cared for and you are doing absolutely the best thing possible for you and your family and I am sure that is just what your mother would want. I bet she is proud of you running your own business and you are not all all selfish.
It hurts because we care, would we have it any other way.
<<hugs>>
Steve
