Mums just been told she has cancer

Hi  and a warm welcome to the online community although I'm very sorry that you've had to find us.

It's no wonder that you're feeling lost having just discovered that your mum has cancer. When you are supporting someone with cancer you can experience lots of different emotions.

I see that you have joined the bone cancer group and that will be a good place to ask questions and share experiences if that is where the cancer started. If it's discovered that this cancer is a secondary cancer then you could join the secondary bone cancer group. where again you can ask questions and get support.

Once your mum has had any further tests to establish if she has a primary else where, her team will get together to decide what is the best course of treatment. Most people feel more in control when they know what they are facing.

You said that you are "just lost as to where to start on sorting things out and who we should be talking to" and I just wondered if you explain a little more what you meant so I could see if I could help or point you in the right direction for help.

Sending a supportive ((hug))

Hi thanks for your reply we are still waiting tests and scans to determine  what her primary cancer is. It’s been a lot of we Gona do this then day after no we not going to do that we gonna do this. So that’s been very confusing. 

We know it is wide spread and In multiple places ( ribs, chest bone, spine, breast, pelvis, odd stops on her lung from wot I can recall it was a long list) 

ive been sorting their bills and finances but my dad worrying as we aren’t sure what benefits stop if she is in hospital for so long ( 14days so far ) and what happens if she can’t come home. 

Its been hard as we a lot of questions and we not sure where to direct them. It’s also hard as we feel like we chasing staff to actually tell us what’s going on and making sure the other half know what’s going on ( specially over pain medication) 

hope this makes sense 

I'm sorry to hear that it sounds like your mum's cancer is widespread . 

Unfortunately, it's common for the doctors to change their minds over what tests they want and when they want to do them. I know that doesn't help you trying to understand what's going on. Has your mum had a cancer nurse specialist (CNS) or key worker assigned to her yet? If so, they are usually worth their weight in gold as they can keep you up to date, with your mum's permission, on progress.

As regards your parent's finances, could I suggest that you speak to the welfare rights advisors on the Macmillan Support Line as they will be able to check that your parents are not missing out on anything they're entitled to. It's free to call them on 0808 808 0000 and they're available Monday to Friday from 8am to 8pm.

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