Dad has bowel cancer, my heart is broken.

Hi and welcome to the community though always a little sorry to see new members join.

You are so right the waiting is the worst part, often you will see people refer to scanxiety here. Perhaps looking at his treatment plan though the good news is there are things they can do - chemotherapy can be challenging but we were surprised at how friendly and positive the unit in Oxford was.

When I "came out" with Janice's cancer diagnosis I found huge numbers of  people around me had been affected but had never felt comfortable talking about it but it is much easier to talk about it to virtual strangers - or in my case as they have become fantastic friends. Do drop in on our Bowel (colon and rectal) cancer forum, there will be lots of people at all stages of treatment who will have lots of tips and practical suggestion to help.

<<hugs>>

Steve

Hi Claudia1623

I just wanted to say that although I dont know you ,I am so sorry to hear your news and I have some understanding of how you feel. Although I am double your age I have been an only child for the majority of my adult life as I lost my brother at 21.. and therefore am really close to my parents. My mum was diagnosed with advanced bowel cancer in december completely out of the blue... It was devastating news . However, 6 months down the line my mum , at nearly 80, is still able to go out and about with us - we have just been to sheffield to celebrate my daughter/ her granddaughters 19th - even though she is having weekly chemotherapy / immunotherapy treatment.

The worst stage for us all so far has been the wait for treatment to begin - once that started she felt as though she was doing something about it and that has given her hope. it was quite frightening beforehand as we had no first hand experience of cancer treatments. It has now become part of our normal weekly routine and she has made a few friends from the chemo treatment days. It helped me immensely as there were others to talk to who understood.

From a treatment plan perspective you mention your dad is going to have radiotherapy and chemotherapy - the fact that he may have radiotherapy in my albeit non medical opinion,  is a good sign! I have read a few research articles that suggest that this can reduce the size of tumours to levels where they become operable... There is always hope - it is amazing what the medical profession can do nowadays. 

Nothing I can say will make it any easier for you - but I am here if you want to rant/ moan/chat  whatever ...I do the same to my friends some of whom have been through the same, some of whom haven't.  so even if your friends havent been through anything similar they will I am sure be happy to let you shout/ cry/ give you a hug when you need it. Just dont bottle it up  please.  I have also found at work that talking to a complete stranger sometimes helps . The Macmillan nurses at the hospital were amazing for me and I am sure they would be a great help to you. You can call the help line anytime .

Try and focus on the present - here and now - each day at a time - and don't ever lose hope..

xx

Hi alikhan42,

Thank you so much for the reply and sorry it’s taken so long for me to get back to you, as you can imagine everything is a little crazy at home and finding time is difficult. 

I’m so sorry to hear about your mother but that is amazing that she is still out and about enjoying herself. I hope that carries on for you all. How is she in herself at the moment? My father went for another appointment at the hospital today and we have another 2 week wait now before he can start his chemotherapy. This is the worst feeling because he’s in such discomfort and we all know he’s not getting any better. It seems as if every time we go to the hospital they change what they’re telling us and I’m loosing hope each time. 

Sending best wishes,

Claudia 

xxx