Hi,
Since my boyfriend has been diagnosed with testicular cancer he has been pushing me away. He even ended our relationship which was fine a month ago. We are still struggling on but he keeps lying and not telling me the whole truth about his cancer. He didn’t tell me about the first lot of radiotherapy and went through that alone but because it’s spread he was told he needed to tell his family. He keeps saying he wants space and personally I think he’s in denial and trying to escape it and because I now know that makes it real so he wants to get away from me. It’s breaking my heart and I also have a big op this week to face but all I can think about is him and whether or not he’s telling me everything. Is it selfish of me to want to know what stage he’s at, treatment etc? I just want to help him. I feel like I’m on egg shells and can only imagine what he’s going through. He’s really not dealing with it. Any advice would be appreciated.
Hi Boom13
Sorry to read your post, sounds like we are in a similar situation which is really awful and I know exactly how you're feeling.
My partner got diagnosed for the second time last month but this time its completely different. He wants to be alone all the time with space space and more space. I've even ended up living back at home which is breaking my heart seeing us go from a strong loving relationship to this.
I kept in regular contact, as normal, because he asked not to be treated differently. Then he started treatment 2 weeks ago and then suddenly my contact was wrong. I ended up only messaging short messages, no questions involved. He then seemed to be the one contacting me and then suddenly phoned me one evening. I took that as him trying to reach out at last but that took us a month to get there.
But we have been seeing each other at the weekends a few times now and talking a bit more on the phone the last few days.
It's not selfish at all. All I want to do is to help my partner and know which stage he's at too. He won't let me go to any appointments or anything so I'm in the dark too. I know which treatments hes having but everyone I speak to seems to think it's not enough. So I have the same thoughts he's not telling me everything too.
I keep telling him how much I love him so please make sure you continue to let your boyfriend know. However, mine always seems to say thanks back to me now, which is very unusual, but I'm starting to think that perhaps with everything he's going through, he doesn't think I could love him in the same way or something.
Try not to push otherwise they seem to think its nagging. It's so frustrating because you're doing it because you care, they just don't seem to see it at the moment.
I hope it starts to get a little easier for you both. remember you're not alone. Air your thoughts with family/friends or even us on here. That's what I've been doing and the messages of support back to me have been great.
I hope I've helped even if it's a little bit. Just message me if you want and we can rant about things together 
Take care x
